A Genre of Love, Angst and other Confusion
by truevindication
Summary: PLEASE REVIEW. A series of oneshots mainly Tiva, some McAbby based off of a playlist my ipod created for me. Better stories than summary, promise! Ch9: That Ain't My Truck.
1. Already There

**Title: A Genre of Love, Angst and other Confusion  
Author: TrueVindication  
Characters: Gibbs, McGee, Tony, Ziva, misc.  
Pairing: tiva  
Rating: K  
Spoilers: None  
Authors Note:** This is my first NCIS fic, so any thoughts would be greatly appreciated! I'm actually planning to make this a series. I was listening to my iPod and had Lonestar's "Already There" come on. I genius'd the song and got a list of 12 country songs that I absolutely adore, so I plan on using each one as inspiration for each chapter. (So they'll be stand alones.)  
I had no beta reader for this, but would of course love to have one for all future chapters. J I just didn't know how to chose a beta a this point so.. There ya have it!  
All chapters will be tiva-centric, but of course will have misc friendship themes as well. And of course I own nothing. Except for Trey.  
**Summary: **Four months is long enough to make a man go insane, but Tony just needs to hear her voice to keep his mind in one piece.

_It wasn't an op he wanted to take. No, in fact he had fought Vance tooth and nail to get any other assignment than the one he was dealt._  
"_It's you, DiNozzo," the director stated as he walked around the desk, "I hand picked you."_  
"_Sir I would have to respectfully decline if it's all the same." Tony stood straight as a board, eyes forward and hands held tight behind his back. "Current circumstances wouldn't allow me to leave my family for such a long period of time." He didn't trust himself not to lash out at his director for asking so much of him._  
"_I understand that, trust me I do. I have talked it over with Gibbs-"_  
"_You what?" Tony broke his stance, surprise in his eyes._  
"_-and he said he would be more than willing to help out as much as he can if you decided to take this assignment." The directors voice was monotone, obviously unsympathetic, from Tony's point of view at least. "And as I said, I hand picked you, Agent DiNozzo."_

He knew it was good for his career. He knew it was good for his team. He knew it would kill him to be away for so long. That's how he ended up here, in a lonely, cold hotel room, wanting to call to hear her say 'I love you' one more time. He stared at the picture he kept in his wallet, and to see her smiling back at him warmed his heart. To see the little boy in her arms with a big toothy grin broke it a second after. He missed his wife. He missed his son. He had to hear her voice.

"_Zi, we need to talk." His voice was lower than normal as he walked by her desk, right past and through the hallway. She exchanged a quizzical glance with Tim and followed him._  
"_Tony, where are we going." She said it more as a statement than a question. She furrowed her brow when he lead her to the men's restroom. Throughout the years this was used for the conference room of many disagreements and apologies. This couldn't be good news.  
Tony turned and watched her lock the door behind them. "Ziva-"_  
"_This is bad?" He took a deep breath, held it and nodded. "How bad?"_  
"_Vance wants me undercover for six months." He spit the sentence out in one breath, not sure if he would will it out if he took his time. Ziva stood and stared at him for what seemed like 5 minutes, and once he opened his mouth to say something she held up a finger to silence him.  
She turned on her heel and walked out the door._

He had ended up in Washington state, far away from the start of his mission in Norfolk. During a bar brawl he unwillingly became a part of he ran into an old partner from Baltimore, they had only worked together three months before Tony had moved to homicide, but Tony felt it was his luckiest day in a long time.  
He was escorted out of the bar by an officer he didn't know, but asked to speak to his old partner before going anywhere.  
"Anthony?" Lt. Richards raised his hand to his eyebrows in mock search, "Tony! Man, good to see you!" He redirected his smile towards the officer escorting Tony out, "get those off him, man, he's alright, I got him."  
"Thanks, Frank," he said as he wiped the last trickle of blood from his mouth. "How ya been?"  
And so began a night of catching up and swapping stories. In the back of Tony's mind he needed the best report he could get with this man.

"You're married?! No shit! Wow.. I don't know what to say! Congratulations! How long?"  
"Almost 3 and a half years now," Tony responded nodding slightly, smiling himself, "I have a little boy, too." He pulled out the worn picture from his wallet.  
"Another Anthony I assume?" Tony shrugged and laughed.  
"Yeah, another one. Third in line… he's my little Trey… haven't seen either of them since this all started."  
"That's rough, man, it's hard enough for me to be away from my girls for my 12 hour shifts.. I wish there was something I could do to help." That was all Tony needed to hear.  
"Maybe there is…"

"_How can you support this?!"_  
"_Ziver, take a deep breath." Gibbs put his hand on her shoulder softly. "I understand your confusion, anger, hesitation-"_  
"_Anger. I want to stick with that one." Ziva tried pacing around Gibbs' small 'conference room' unable to keep still._  
"_I understand, but Tony is probably the best agent we have for this op. I trust him. I know he'll make the right calls."_  
"_To get this guy?"_  
"_To make sure he brings himself home to you."_

The phone rang and startled her awake. She immediately picked up the receiver to silence the noise, afraid of waking up her sleeping 3 year old.  
"Hello?" She got no answer. Confused she sat up in bed. "Hello? Who is this." When no answer came she threatened, "I am going to hang out."  
"Up."  
"What?"  
"When you're tired your idioms get mixed up. Hang _up_, come on, sweet cheeks you know that one."  
"Tony?" She was wide awake. "What are you- how did- what?"  
"I had to hear your voice. I love you." he was short and concise with his words.  
Trying to find words to say to her husband she almost started to cry. "Oh, Tony, I've missed you. It's been a long four months."  
"It feels longer for me, trust me. It's so good to hear your voice. How's Trey doing?"  
"Definitely his father's son." She laughed, "we've had James Bond in the DVD player for two weeks now. I don't know if he understands it all but he will **not** let me change the disc." She could feel herself trying to keep things light, in case this was a 'last call' granted to them both. The nervousness was in her hesitation, but she smiled at his voice nonetheless.  
"That's my boy…" he drifted off, content to hear her breathing. Even that simple sound was beautiful.  
"Tony, you shouldn't be calling me." Her tone turned serious, weighing the circumstances in which he could be calling her under such a deep mission.  
"It's ok, Zi, I'm in lockup."  
"What?!"  
"Well, not really lockup," he was amused with her reaction, and grinned a little as he explained. "Long story short: I ran into an old Baltimore PD buddy. We caught up for a bit, I pretended to get drunk and deck him so people around us thought something went sour. He brought me in and put me in lockup. When everyone was gone he brought me a burn phone."  
"Oh, Tony," Ziva laughed softly. "That is the dumbest idea I have ever heard."

He grinned to himself as he cocked his head to the side, "but it worked didn't it?" Her laugh was like a drug to him, and even to hear the softest chuckle sent him to heaven. "Can you wake Trey? I want him to hear my voice before my minutes run out on this phone." The muffled noises let him know she was getting out of bed and going to his little boy's room.  
His son. His pride and joy. He heard him softly wake him. Before he was fully conscious she put the phone to his ear.

_Being the third Anthony DiNozzo, Tony had decided to dub him Trey ("like the card game, lucky right? Trey?") which Ziva disliked very much until she overheard him talking to Abby in the lab, before he knew she was at the doorway._  
"_It's perfect, y'know? What is the most memorable Trey you know? Trey of hearts, right? He is my Trey of hearts. He's got more of my heart I could ever give to anyone."  
Abby smiled and squealed in response, throwing her arms around him. He slowly rubbed her back and spoke slowly, almost to himself. "I'm a father… I'm a father to a beautiful, healthy baby boy… And a husband to a beautiful, amazing woman… What do I need more than those who hold my heart?"_

"Hey, Trey, time to wake up a little bit for daddy."  
"Daddy?" The softest of voices melted his heart. "Daddy?" he asked again.  
"Hey, kiddo. How ya doin? You protectin' mommy while I'm gone?" Tony tired to keep his voice light, away from the crackling of tears he felt in his throat.  
"Daddy, when you coming home?"  
The tears in his throat caught up to him and every fiber of his being shattered into a thousand pieces. How do you respond to your child asking you such a question? He thought for a second, sighing deep, knowing his son was waiting for an answer. He said the first thing that came to his mind:  
"I'm already there. Take a look around… I'm always with you. I'm the sunshine waking you up in the morning through the window.. I'm the shadow next to you outside when you're on the swings. I'm your imaginary friend, always beside you to make you laugh.. And I know I'm in your prayers, just like you're in every single thought in my day. That's why I smile so much, because I think of you." He took a deep breath and heard his little boy giggle and cry at the same time. Wishing he could take him into his arms he said, instead, "stay strong, little man, daddy will be home soon."  
"Kay.." the little boy breathed out the single syllable, a feather soft reassurance in Tony's ear.

With that Ziva took the phone from his ear. "He is tired. He cries for you, you know."  
"I know," Tony nodded to himself. Still staring at the picture in his hands, it was hard to imagine either of his warriors being anything less than supernatural. "I know."  
"I really miss you, Tony… don't worry about Trey, he'll be alright." She heard him take in a deep breath, no doubt trying to compose himself and be strong for her. "I wish I was in your arms lying right there beside you…" She let her thoughts trail off, which he gladly finished for her.  
"But you know that you'll be in my dreams tonight, and every night."  
"I wish I could kiss your lips… touch you with my fingertips…"  
"So turn out the lights," he whispered, "and close your eyes tonight.. I'm already there. Can you still feel the love that we share? It gets me through each and everyday, Zi. I want nothing more than to be home with you. I hope you never doubt that for a second."  
"I know," she closed her eyes tight, her hand holding the phone with all her might, as if it might disappear if she let up if ever for a second. "I know you'll come home safe to us. I just wish I could have you with me tonight… I miss your arms around me. Trey needs his father… Gibbs and Tim have been great helping out, but he knows you aren't around."  
"Shh… I know, sweet cheeks, I know… We may be a thousand miles apart, but I'll be with you both, wherever you are… and you know as soon as this mission is over I would run a thousand miles to get back to you." When he heard nothing his heart skipped a beat in a panic. And then all was okay again when he heard her speak softly:  
"I love you."  
He smiled the most genuine smile he had in the past four months. "I just wanted to hear it one more time, to get me through the night."

"_Are you sure you want to do this?"_  
"_Are you sure you want to let me?"  
They stood in the bathroom, faces mere inches apart. Much like it was years ago, this scenario differed a little. They held each others hands softly and spoke in almost whispers. When neither answered their foreheads fell to rest on each other slightly._  
"_Just say the word I'll turn it down, I swear I will." Tony's voice almost pleaded for a way out, wanting to be near his wife and child more than anything the director could grant him.  
Ziva shook her head. "This is for the good of your career, the team, and NCIS." She put a hand behind his head, the other on his waist. "Besides," her hand fell to his neck, running her fingernails across the sensitive skin, "you know better than not to come back to be in one piece."  
The smile on his face reached from ear to ear. "Of course, sweet cheeks, who am I to cross the crazy ninja chick I've grown to know, love, adore and fear?"  
Her hand left his neck and smacked his cheek playfully, paired with a coy smile.  
"That's right, my little hairy butt."_

In the few minutes remaining on the phone they whispered words of comfort and reassurance to each other. Those three little words weren't said again, and wouldn't be said for another two months until Tony was home, holding his wife and child where he belonged. But that one phone call, from the lonely cold hotel room gave them both all they needed to stay strong. Sometimes all you need is that reassurance. Sometimes all you need to know is that someone is always there.

* * *

A/N: Soooo, I know SO MUCH more could have been done with this plot, and trust me I was tempted! But the plot bunnies are driving me insane with a story for each of these songs, so they're all goign to be relatively short and sweet like this one. Trey will probably be coming back in other stories where I see Tony and Ziva with a child, because all the other stories I read give him a little girl, and as cute as that is, I can see a miniTony easier in my mind. The name for Trey actually came from a guy I worked with who was a Junior but called Deuce, so I thought it was cute, Tony keeping the name alive but not wanting to call him Tony or Anthony like his father. Sorry, I'm rambling! Any feedback would be greatly appreciated, I don't even know if I should keep writing/posting, or just writing and letting it fade away somewhere on my hard drive. :)


	2. Starts With Goodbye

**Title: A Genre of Love, Angst and other Confusion****  
Author: TrueVindication  
Characters: Gibbs, McGee, Tony, Ziva  
Pairing: Tiva  
Rating: K  
Spoilers: None  
Authors Note: **Thanks for adding this to your favorite lists! Please review, let me know what yo like, what you don't like, or even what kind of genre you'd like for the next chapter. I do a lot of driving, so that's when I think these plots up. This chapter is based on _**Carrie Underwood's "Starts with Goodbye"**_**  
Summary: **Nearing their anniversary, Ziva decides to make a call to end a relationship with a man she's thought she loved.

* * *

"I love you, Ziva."  
No response.  
"Zi? Please, say something." Her back was to him, she stared out the window of her apartment to the lights below. "Hey…" he walked up behind her and rubbed his arms gently down her arms, leaving goose bumps in their wake. "Look at me," he turned her around slowly, "tell me you don't want this too. Tell me and I'll walk out this door and we can act as though it never happened."  
She turned slowly, eyes closed, head down. "Tony-"  
"No, it's okay." His defenses went up and he backed away slowly, rejection burning his heart. "I get it. I'm sorry."  
"Tony, no." She grabbed arms wrists and kept him facing her. "I just… Thank you."  
"Thank you?" He laughed. Not a nervous laugh, nor was it an irritated, confused laugh. It was a genuine, hearty laugh. "You really want to go with thank you to a confession of love?"  
She resisted the urge to smack his arm, instead she gave him a devious smile. "I love you, too, Tony." She rested her hand behind his neck and pulled him towards her, sealing their confessions with a kiss.

That was nearly six months ago to the day. Tomorrow would be their official anniversary and tonight she had to do one of the hardest things she could ever imagine.  
"Abby, how do I tell a man that has always tried to protect me and to love me that it isn't enough anymore?" Ziva paced around the forensics lab, trying to find words to explain her frustration.  
"Well.. Just like that I guess?" Ziva stopped and gave her friend a surprised look. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I hate cutting off ties to any sort of relationship, especially in your situation, but what does he expect you to do? Drop everything and up and move for him? And after all this time he's-" she cut herself short. "I'm not here to fuel the fire," she closed her eyes, breathed deep and talked more to herself than to an amused Ziva, "I'm here as Switzerland, listening and… well, that's about all I guess. So go!" She sat back in her chair and pointed at Ziva, folding her hands in her lap.  
"I don't know, Abby. This love he gives me… it just isn't enough."

Away from the Navy yard McGee was dealing with a similar situation, watching Tony pace back and forth, but in this case it was with excitement. He had felt too cooped up at work so instead they opted to go out to a small cafe for lunch. He could hardly sit down long enough to take a bite.  
"Stop smiling, Probie, I'm seriously freaking out here. What do you think?" After regailing his plan he realized it sounded a lot better in his head than when he said it outloud.  
"Well…" Tim stretched out his single word, acting deep in thought, "I _guess_… Hm… Honestly…" **Smack.** A sharp pain to the back of his head took the fun out of his teasing. "It sounds wonderful, Tony, really. Ziva will love it."  
"Really? You don't think it's too much?"  
"Well she definitely won't get majority of the movies you're ripping your ideas from so you'll get plenty of credit for that."  
"Hey! Majority of that is DiNozzo original!"  
"Right, let's just hope she's never seen _Say Anything_ because even I get the boom box out the window reference."  
"First off, I'll be in heaven if she's seen that movie. I mean really? John Cusack's most iconic role playing a cute but lovable stalker? Genius. Secondly, we already scrapped that idea. Where am I gonna find a boom box in such a short time, anyway…"

"I'm going to do it. Tonight."  
"Oh, Ziva, are you SURE? I mean… tomorrow's supposed to be a milestone in the relationship and- well- Tony's sure planned a lot for it…"  
"Are you just worried about messing up Tony's big plans, Abby?"  
"No! Oh no, I care about you, and how you're feeling, and.. Well. I get it. I really do." Abby ran over to her usually unshakable friend and pulled her into a big hug. "As much as this may hurt you, always know I'll support you." She was happy to feel Ziva fully hug her back.  
"Thank you."

The rest of the day was interesting to say the least. Catching up on paperwork always left everyone a little on edge after being cooped up for so long, but the only one who seemed to notice anything different was McGee.  
Glancing over at Tony he saw the excitement in his eyes, his plan seemingly running through his mind again and again. He smiled to himself, happy his friend had finally saw how he was ready to settle down. His words came back to him from their lunch early, _I love her, Tim. Honest to God, I think I can make this work. Forever? Maybe. But definitely as long as she'll put up with me._  
Directing his attention towards Ziva she was… different. Reserved? No, she always kept mostly to herself. Irritated? Possibly, since Tony was bouncing off the walls. In the end he couldn't quite pinpoint it, so he wandered down to the lab to see what she could tell him.

"She's going to do what?! Abby! Now?!"  
"No, Timmy, not NOW! …Tonight." Abby folded her hands behind her back, staring at her feet. "I can't stop her, it's her choice."  
"But- but.." Tim stuttered his surprise. "You couldn't ask her to do this earlier?! Or later!"  
"Why, Tim? To prolong what? We both know what's going to happen tomorrow, so she might as well tell him tonight!"  
"Uh oh."  
"Uh oh? What uh oh? Uh oh isn't good, Timmy, why uh oh?"  
"I talked to Tony at lunch, and um, it's tonight."  
"What's tonight?"  
"He decided to surprise her, you know, take her a little off guard. She would totally expect an anniversary surprise tomorrow, but not tonight, know?"  
"Oh, no, Tim… he has no idea what he's walking into."

Ziva watched Tony flight out of the bullpen as soon as the clock hit 1800. With a swift kiss on her cheek he breezed by, saying something about laundry and dishes. Right.  
Focused on her computer in front of her she tried to force her mind to stop reeling. She glanced at the photos on her desk, of all the people in her life. One was from back home, her father and a close family friend. _What does that mean anyway? Assassin on call?_ She shook her head, she found herself doubting much of her father's decision these days. The next photo was of her and Abby and Gibbs. He was in the middle, arms draped over each of them, a genuine smile on his face. Abby looked as comfortable as she could be, there in the boss' arm, and she was caught mid-laugh. What was she laughing at? She doesn't remember anymore. There was a group photo, taken by Palmer if she remembers correctly. It was at a post-case celebratory drink. Somehow they convinced Gibbs to stay for a few rounds, dealing with their antics. They all squeezed into a small booth, determined to make the picture work. They were laughing, faces red and carefree as possible I that small cramped booth.

This was her family. She had come to realize that now.

This team, this group of dynamic misfits was her family. No, they may not have the same blood running through their veins, but they cared about each other and the team as a whole.  
How could she let one man make her break that up? She couldn't risk it. She couldn't risk losing her adoptive family that she has come to rely on so much.  
He wants her move with him. He wants to take her from this family that gives her so much love and support.  
Yes, she admits that he will lose something too, but he does not know what it's like for her. To have had nothing, gained so much and he wants to take it from her. No, she loves him, but she will not allow it. Even if it ruins what they have.  
She walks silently into her apartment that night, not allowing herself to stray form her mission. She picks up the phone and cautiously dials, dreading the conversation, but unwilling to let this go any further.

Tony felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. Cursing the timing he looked at the caller ID and shook his head.  
"DiNozzo." He paused and listened. "Ok, hold on… You talk, I'll listen."

"Ok. I need to get this off my chest all at once." She spoke a foreign language, not knowing what words would come next, not even feeling like it was her own voice coming from her mouth. The words didn't feel real to her, her head spinning, forcing herself to make the words work together.  
"I cannot do this anymore. I know you love me, and I know in a way I still love you too, but not the way you want. As much as you have always cared for me and wanted to be there for me, it has always felt conditional. A part of me feels like you want me to be so strong for you in order for you to want me. I can't always be this 'crazy ninja chick' and now I realize that I shouldn't have to be."

She listened to the dead air, the lack of response, and she feared he didn't understand what she was trying to say. She tried again, slower. "I guess it is going to have to hurt, we are both going to cry, but I have to let go of some of the things I have loved to get to the other side." She shook her head. The words flowing from her mouth did not completely make sense to her but it seemed so clear when she thought of it. "I know this hurts you right now. But I have learned many things in the past four years I have been here, especially after this past summer-"she heard an intake of breath at the mention of her time held captive, "and one of those is that time, does in fact, heal many if not all wounds. That wound you feel right now… it will heal. Sadly, I cannot be the one to heal it for you."

Tony took a deep breath, listening to the words carefully. His heart hurt so much for her pain, admitting he was the biggest part of it. He was the reason she was breaking off this relationship. He knew how much he meant to her, but she was still holding something back from him. He had no words to end the phone call so he just breathed in deep and hung up.

Ziva sat on her front steps, tears streaming down her face. The phone fell out of her hand and hit the cement but she didn't bother trying to pick it up._  
I knew I had to do it, I knew he wouldn't understand…_  
Just then a car came screeching down the street, stopping in front of her, almost halfway in the street.  
Tony stepped out cautiously, seeing her crying in the dark, her figure illuminated only by the single porch light above her. He felt her glance up at him, then look back down at her feet. He took a few quick strides towards her and was in front of her, breathless, no words to say.

"Hey." _Stupid._ _That's a good start._ He shifted from one foot to the other.  
"Why are you here?" She wiped her tears, confused, disoriented and just wanting to be out of this place.  
"Abby called me." He took her hands in his and knelt down to look into her eyes. "You didn't have to do that. He's still your father."  
"Yes, Tony, I did." She flung her arms around him. "He wanted me to leave you. All of you. He wanted me to move back to Israel. Even if I wasn't Mossad anymore he thought he could tell me what to do." She felt his arms tighten around her, as if afraid to let her go. "I had to let him know my heart is here now. I love him, he is my father, but it is different. After everything that has happened… his love is conditional," she pulled back and looked into his eyes, "your love is not."

His heart melted when she said those words. He knew how hard this was for her, to finally rely on someone other than herself. "No, sweet cheeks, I'll love you for as long as you'll tolerate me." He smiled ear to ear and leaned down with a sweet, short kiss.  
"I am still scared, Tony."  
"Of what?"  
"Of you." Her answer was simple. "Of trusting someone, of letting someone else take care of me…" She shied her face from him, but he placed a hand on her cheek, stroking it gently with his thumb.  
"I'm scared, too. It's not everyday you propose to spend the rest of your life with a crazy ninja chick." Her eyes flew open in surprise. He slowly reached into his pocket and pulled out a box.  
"Now, this wasn't supposed to come until the end of our night, but right now I want you to know I understand and thank you for the faith you put in me." In the box was a simple silver band, nothing fancy, nothing expensive, but the inside read _Promise little and do much. _Tony had researched a lot of proverbs and found this was works best for what he wanted to try to say..  
"Tony, what are you-" her words were breathless but he cut them off, shaking his head, focusing on the words he'd rehearsed so many times in his mind. He focused on the little silver ring, not able to look into her eyes quite yet. He knew the step she had just taken but still was weary.  
"I know it's not a fancy ring, but I wanted to give you something to promise you one simple thing: I will always try my best to make you happy. I don't want to promise we won't fight, because we will. We'll fight, and hurt each other, and cry. But we'll laugh and smile, and have the best time of our lives, too. I don't want to promise the rest of our lives, but we'll have as long as possible and as long as we are both willing to try and to love."

Ziva was near tears. After feeling there was no security in any part of her life, here she was, in front of a wonderful, loving man, who wanted nothing more than to be honest with her.  
"And I know this isn't the best proposition, _Hey, let me hurt you and make you cry_, but you know what? That's what I've learned a relationship is. It's one person asking the other… let me hurt you, let me make you cry, but trust and believe me that not only in the end, but at the beginning of the tears and the hurt, and in the middle of the screaming and the fighting, I still love you. Cuz it's going to have to hurt. We're gonna have to cry. And we're gonna have to let go of some things we love, starting with tonight. But sometimes life is so bittersweet. It's like… it's like falling when you learn to fly."  
"Fly?" Ziva was touched, truly, but lost on the last analogy. She watched Tony raise his face to meet hers, until his lips were a breath away from hers.  
"Don't you get it?" He paused, a grin playing on his face. "You're so intoxicating, every time I near you, I feel like I'm flying."  
He kissed her softly, until she smiled against his mouth and pulled away. "So, then Tony, I just have one question."  
"What's that, sweet cheeks?"  
"Can I have my ring now?"

McGee pulled up, Abby riding shotgun, just in time to see Tony slip the ring on Ziva's finger. Squealing, Abby darted out of the car and jumped on the couple mid hug.  
"Ohmygosh I'm so happy for you guys!" She released them both, Tim coming around smiling for them as well. Abby turned her attention to Ziva, "Did it go ok? Did you talk to your dad?"  
"I did. And he isn't happy about it, but for now he will not try to change my mind. I have found a love I want to hold on to," she squeezed Tony's hand, "and in right now, this love has to start with that goodbye." Ziva gave her friend a hug, "Thank you, for listening to it all."  
"Thank you for trusting me with your problem. It really meant a lot. For you to open up." They released their hug, Tim moving in for his turn. "Where's the ring! Was his speech good? He must have practiced on me like, six times this week! Was it cute? I hope he didn't say the part about-"  
"Abby!" Tony turned bright red. "Thanks. Really. Just stop talking now."  
"Are you guys ready?" Time interrupted the hugs and extended his arm towards his car. "The night is still young."  
"Were are we going?" Abby, Tony and Tim just smiled at her.  
Tony offered out his arm with a mischievous smile, "don't you trust me?" Ziva smiled back.  
"With my life."

* * *

**A/N:** Okay, well, I had planned to go on for a bit but I decided to end it here. I wanted to show the night that Tony planned, or at least part, but whatever. And no, I don't know where I was gonna go with having both Tim and Abby there (one of the them to play chauffer, of course, the other to move Tony's car since he's always double parked? Haha) but I wanted to show their reactions since they were Tony and Ziva's go-to's in this story. Anyway! Thanks for reading. J PLEASE REVIEW!


	3. Not a Day Goes By

**Title: A Genre of Love, Angst and other Confusion  
Author: TrueVindication  
Characters: Tony, Ziva  
Pairing: tiva****Rating: K  
Spoilers: slight nod at Jurisdiction.  
Inspiration: _Not A Day Goes By, Lonestar_  
****Summary: **Ziva just can't sleep, apparently, neither can Tony...  


* * *

She lay in her bed staring at the dark ceiling.

There were no cars driving by, no bustling of people at the street below, and yet she could not sleep. Maybe this is what people meant when they said "deafening silence," because she could not will herself to sleep.

The past few months had been trying, but she was stronger than the pain she carried inside. There were no mental breakdowns, no daily medication to rely on to get her through the long days and longer nights. No, she relied on herself for the healing she needed.

And yet here she was, 0100 and she could not sleep. Minutes turn to hours, and the hours to day, and it seemed forever that she felt this way. She could not make this uneasy feeling leave her, and she could not quite pinpoint the cause.

She felt her stomach flip flop as she lay motionless. Her chest tightened when she was doing nothing, and yet there was no obvious reason.

Well, not completely obvious anyway.

She rolled over and flipped open her phone, reading the last text messages she received before she decided to was time to try to sleep.

_Goodnight, sweet cheeks. Bug ya later._

So simple. So… friendly. So natural. And yet it made her heart skip.

_It is only Tony. _She told herself. And yet even at the thought of his name her mouth went dry. _Right?_

Ziva David. Assassin, ninja, rock… And here she was, feeling far from strong. If you asked her how she's doing she'd say "just fine," but the truth is, if you could read her mind…

Her phone buzzed, breaking her revere.

"David."

"Hey." Her heart stopped for what felt like minutes. "Did I wake you?"

"Tony, what's wrong, it is.. 0130." She knew he could tell she wasn't asleep by the alertness in her voice, but she worried the worst.

"I 'unno," she could almost hear his shrug, "couldn't sleep."

"So you decided to make me share this insomnia with you?" The curtness in her voice was harsher than she had planned and regretted it immediately.

"Oh. Um. Sorry. Nevermind, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Wait!" She mentally slapped herself. "I am sorry. Truth is, I have not been sleeping well either. It has made me quite…"

"Snappy?"

"Not quite what I was going for, but yes."

"Mmm. Whatcha thinking about?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I don't hear a TV in the background, you didn't get upset for me interrupting a good book, so you're probably laying there in the dark. No one lays there in the dark without a single thing to ponder. Meaning of life? Ways to kill a man with an empty soda can?" She chuckled at his playfulness.

"No, nothing that important."

"Hm." He yawned slightly.

"Tony… why are you calling me?"

"Told ya, couldn't sleep." She raised her eyebrows.

"So instead of a movie marathon, waking up and annoying McGee, or any of the number of things you do to pass the time, you decide to call me at 0130?"

"Hey, I like to think bugging you at random times is one of the many things on my list of fun pastimes." She heard blankets rustle around and assume he was getting more comfortable. She pictured him laying there, hand behind his head, resting on the headboard.. She stopped her train of thought. "Ziva? You there?"

"What? Oh, sorry. Must have nodded off."

"Mhm. I'm sure."

Silence. He said nothing, just listened to her breathing, waiting for him to say something. When he did not she exhaled sharply, frustrated.

"Is there something you needed Tony?"

"Mhm.." his voice sounded further away. "Mmm."

"Tony? Tony are you asleep?"

"Uh uh." More rustling. "..here… 'm here.."

"You sound asleep."

"Nuh uh… listening.."

"Listening to what?" He breathed deeply, his breaths getting more even and rhythmic.

"You."

"What?" She was taken off guard. She couldn't tell if he was just trying to mess with her, or was actually asleep. "Tony, I'm going to hang up."

"No…" it came out as a whine. "tell me something."

She finally gave up, figuring this could be more interesting than staring at the ceiling. Humoring Tony at odd hours of the morning. In the dark. In her bed. Her mind reeled at the stories that could be twisted from these bare facts.

"Zee-vaaah…" the second syllable came out a little more airy than normal, but still, she loved the way he stressed her name.

"What do you want me to tell you, Tony."

"Mmm.. What you think 'bout at night."

"Lots of things. Work. The team. My father… life in Israel. Friends."

"Me?"

She was taken aback by his bluntness, and the certainty in his voice. Not his normal bantering voice, or his teasing tone, just… straight forward certainty. Now she was sure he was trying to mess with her. Her voice was firm, trying to see if he was really asleep.

"No."

"Oh.. We aren't friends." he sounded like a pouting child. Awake and alert Tony would never let so much emotion in such a simple sentence. Her voice softened again.

"No.. we are not friends." He was silent. She heard rustling on his end and an exhale of breath. "We cannot be friends."

"Ok."

"Ok?"

"No.. 's not ok."

She remained silent, waiting for him to say something, anything, or ask her something else. She wanted to apologize, but most of all she wanted to run as far away from this conversation as she could. She thought about what she would say, about how she could explain. She wanted to tell him everything she thought about at night. She wanted him to understand her. But she remained silent, instead.

_Not a day goes by that I don't think of you… every night I lay down to sleep and you're still with me, it's true.. I try to get rid of this feeling, but somehow you remain… I want to will it away but these… feelings… __**this**__ feeling… it's too strong. How can I be friends with you, when I want everything more?_

But she couldn't bring herself to say it out loud. After a few moments she heard the subtle beep of a lost call warning. She lost her chance to say what she thought about at night. And so she faced another restless night, phone in hand, hoping he would call again.

The next morning her phone woke her with a start. She had held it all night, and the vibration in her hand jolted her away.

"David."

"Hey! Sorry, are you asleep?" She glanced at the clock, 0530, she was going to miss her morning run. When did she even fall asleep?

"Just getting up. What do you need?"

"Oookay, um, well, I just wanted to apologize."

"For what?"

"Didn't I call you this morning?" He sounded confused.

"Oh, yes, that. Yes you did. No need to apologize, I was unable to sleep anyway."

"Yeah, I've been having… trouble sleeping, I guess. I tried some sleeping pills and I guess they made me a little loopy. I didn't bother you too much did I?" His genuine concern brought a small smile to her face.

"No, Tony, you did not. You merely inquired as to the bottoms of my mind."

"Depths, I think you mean to say." She heard the smile in his voice. "Okay, well, that's all. I'll see you at work?" He said it with a question mark, knowing she'd be there, but implying the question to if everything was okay between them. His fear of crossing the line with Ziva wavered from day to day.

"Yes, I will see you there."

"Oh and Ziva?" He paused, knowing she was still on the line. "It's okay. I get it." With that he hung up, not wanting to hear her response.

_No,_ she thought as she put the phone down. _You do not get it._ But she mentally thanked him for not making her explain.

* * *

**A/N:** Shortest story by far, but I just sat down and cracked it out as it plagued me. Haha. I try to mentally tell myself I don't want to write if no one wants to read it, and I beat myself up about it, but hey- plenty of Alerts set and that's okay by me. I'm not saying I can get by without reviews, because I would definitely like to hear what you guys are liking, aren't liking, or what you'd like to see. Not to mention, I can finally listen to these songs without having plot bunnies eat at my brain. :) Thanks for reading!


	4. Don't Take the Girl

**Title: [GoLAaoC] Don't Take the Girl  
Characters: the whole gang (I own nothing and no one!)  
Pairings: Tony/Ziva  
Spoilers: None  
Time setting: jumps around, none specified other than in-story**_  
**Inspiration: Don't Take the Girl by Tim McGraw**  
Betherzz: Thanks for your reviews, I love knowing at least SOMEONE out there is reading. __J__ Totally made the ring speech up on the fly, too… haha  
ItalianBabexo8: I don't know why either! Ah well, can't please everyone, I suppose… I'm trying. Thanks for the compliments, hope you like this one, even if you're not hyper ;D  
_**Summary:** Tony's always had one simple request from the beginning.

* * *

Walking down the halls of the Smithsonian archives Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo fell instep with his senior agent.

"Boss, quick question." He paused and took this as his acknowledgment to proceed. "You aren't really going to let her stay with us are you? I mean, this whole _observing_ outing thing is just to appease the director for now, right?" The 'her' Tony was referring to was walking ahead with Special Agent McGee, as he stressed to her the fine points of photos and general observation at a crime scene. Thrilling stuff, of course.

"Are you questioning the judgment of our director, DiNozzo?" A small smirk was hidden in Gibbs' voice that threw Tony off guard.

"Didn't you?" _**Smack. **_"Sorry, boss." He kept his mouth shut as his brain stopped rattling in his head. "What I meant was, can we trust her? I mean, really, _liaison_? What does that even mean, anyway."

"It's French for 'to bind', Tony." At this an eyebrow was raised. Agent Gibbs was a man of few words, but much could be read from his slight movement.

"Well I _know_ that! But why does Mossad need a liaison all of a sudden? And why with us, not the CIA? Isn't that the kind of stuff she was trained for to begin with?"

Gibbs was confused and slightly annoyed with Tony beating around the bush.

"What is the point of this, DiNozzo?" Tony gaped like a fish as he searched for words. "Five words or less, go."

"Uhh-"

"Four left." Tony opened his mouth to protest but shut it in wait of substantial words.

"Don't take the girl."

Gibbs stopped in his tracks, at this point almost unable to contain his amusement. "Don't take the girl? That's your final answer?"

Tony smiled a confused grin, not quite sure where the words came from. _Do I get more words now?_ he wondered, instead he just kept on smiling, not really sure what kind of response to expect.

They watched Ziva and McGee follow an official down a flight of stairs. They resumed their walk and Gibbs' just shook his head. "We've got her, DiNozzo, so get over whatever it is you need to get over and deal with it." His voice had an undertone which spoke volumes; he felt the… sexual tension, for lack of better term, between the two agents from across the room even if no one said the words out loud. As they reached the stairs he pushed passed his younger agent slightly and under his breath, just loud enough for Tony to hear he mumbled, "and if I catch you playing grab ass your brain will rattle around for days."

--------------

It was four years later, and Gibbs' was right: Tony's head rattled for days after every head slap. He was used to the reset method his boss had become so accustomed to, but after combating with Ziva the slaps just seemed a little more… crisp somehow.

Late one Friday night, after the team's customary drinks after the close of a case Tony walked Ziva to her doorstep.

"Tony! …Tony! …To-"

"YES, Ziva, I'm still here."

"Oh." She giggled. "Shalom."

"Yes, Shalom, again. Geez, I thought you could hold your alcohol better than this.." He shook his head, knowing full well that even a room full of Marines couldn't handle what Ziva had ingested.

It was partly his fault, he knew. He had offered her a ride home, and then made a drinking game out of her small idiom mistakes. For every phrase wrong it was a shot. Ziva, at first, protested the game, calling Tony xenophobic, but he had her when he decided to amend the game. If she went the night with 4 or less, he would drink _anything _she gave him after the next case.

"_Four mistakes or less? Pizza pie."_

"_That's one."_

"_No! Pizza pie, meaning it is extremely simple, yes?"_

"_Sorry, Ziva, I gotta go with Tony on this one," McGee chimed in from across the booth, "I think you mean __**piece**__ of __**cake**__."_

So she took her shot.

Honestly Tony knew four word confusions or less were rare to come by, but the more alcohol she ingested the more slip ups she had. She was bound to be blasted.

"Tony. You are a good person. A good, good looking person." Her arm was over his shoulder, leaning on him for most of her support.

"You don't mean that, you're drunk. In the morning I'll be a jerk again. But hey, at least I'll be a good looking jerk."

They joked and walked/stumbled towards her apartment. Parking had been scarce so it was a little more of a walk then either would have liked but the banter was still there, and the laughs were plenty. _God she's beautiful._

Right as they were about to reach the entrance a man came from behind shoved them hard enough so Ziva stumbled out of Tony's grasp. The man turned and held her in front of her, her back to his front. In her inebriated state Ziva was as good as powerless, and Tony slowly held his hands above his head as he stared down the barrel of a 9mm gun.

"Whoa, okay, buddy, let's calm down."

"Get on the ground!" Ziva's hands were held by the man's free hand; she didn't fight back, confused and dazed. "Now! If you do what I tell you to there won't be anyone gettin' hurt!"

Tony saw the desperation and fear in Ziva's eyes. It was a look he had never seen before in his ninja partner. He slowly got to his knees.

"Take my money, here's my wallet, take the credit cards." Tony slowly reached for his wallet, cursing himself for not having his backup in the small of his back. When did he stop carrying on his off duty? The shake of the gun stopped his hand and he raised it slowly in the air again. "Take what you want, but don't take the girl."

The man told him to empty his pockets and toss everything to him. Tony obliged and watched him bend over and pick up his wallet, cell phone and car keys. Still on his knees, hands behind his head he stared in Ziva's eyes. If he hadn't made that stupid game and made her drink so much this never would have happened. If he hadn't been so captivated in her laugh and her smile he would've heard the man coming up behind him. The anger built up behind his eyes and his pursed lips. He did what he was told as the man commanded his to put his hands behind his head and lay down face first on the concrete. Slowly he dropped his face and the man shoved Ziva towards him and took off running. Tony had never gotten to his feet so fast in his life.

What felt like seconds later he had the man beneath him, beating his face with his fists. About three or four punches in Ziva was behind Tony, hands on his shoulder, not yelling at him, but he heard her loud and clear. He pinned the man beneath him and pulled his own cell phone out of the man's jacket pocket to call the authorities.

As he dialed he stared the bloody man down and mumbled under his breath, "I told you don't take the girl."

--------------

Two years later he stood outside the delivery room, watching Gibbs' and McGee run towards him.

"Where WERE you, I called you an hour ago!" He was walking quickly to meet their path. McGee spoke up first.

"We had to drop off the rest of the evidence with Abby- I know, I know, she's right behind us as soon as she locks it up. How is she?"

"Almost time." Tony beamed proudly, already itching to be back with his wife.

"Better get back in there, Tony," Gibbs clapped a hand on his shoulder, smiling almost as wide as Tony, "we'll be right here waiting." He paused and just looked at his agent, who had grown so much in the past few years. "I'm proud of you, Tony." With that Tony pulled his boss into a hug, overcome with emotion. He laughed outloud as he pulled away and hugged his other partner, shaking his head as he looked back at Gibbs. As he turned to walk away Gibbs' hand on his elbow stopped him, "and Tony?" he gave a lopsided grin, "I'm glad you took the girl."

Tony nearly sprinted back in the room and back to Ziva's side.

"Hey, sweet cheeks, I'm here. I'm right here." He took her hand in his. "Try not to break it, okay? Hold back your superpowers, we don't want our baby flying across the room."

Ziva nearly choked as she laughed mid-breath. "Tony," she breathed in and out once more, "do not" breath, "make me," breath, "laugh." The smile on her face was enough for him and he awaited the birth of his first child.

About 15 minutes later he was bursting with excitement as the moment was coming.

"I see his head! Oh, Ziva, here we go, sweet cheeks. Ok, there are his eyes," he felt her squeeze his hand as she pushed again, "and a mouth! Good, we got two eyes, one nose and a mouth!!" He was nearly bouncing with joy. He looked back at his wife a few seconds later as he heard the first cry of his child, a son. "A boy, Ziva… we have a beautiful little boy…" He looked back at his wife as her entire body seemed to relax at the end of her ordeal.

"Can I hold him?" He held one hand out to his son, the other squeezed his wife's. He barely registered that there was no response, and by the time he looked back at her the nurses and doctors were rushing over, screaming commands at each other. The doctors barked orders to the nurses, the nurses shouted at each other, and his baby boy was whisked away out of sight. He reused to let go of Ziva's hand, barely registering what was going on around him.

"Sir? Sir! You have to move!"

"But… my son-" he looked frantically over his shoulder.

"He's fine, the baby is fine, but your wife… she's fading fast." The nurse grabbed him by his elbow and lead him to the door. "Please, sir, we have to-" but Tony couldn't hear it. He watched as they all surrounded the woman he fought so hard to keep his life, words were a blur to him.

He was shuffled out in the hall, where he found his coworkers, his friends, his family really, staring at him with hopeful eyes.

"Is it a boy?"

"I bet it's a girl!"

"Tony?"

"Tony what's wrong?"

All of their voices blended together. Abby and McGee were standing by the chairs, Gibbs stepping towards him, concern written on his face. Ducky and Palmer glanced passed him, trying to look in the door where he had just emerged.

"Tony, what happened?" Gibbs had him by the shoulders, trying to get him to register his words. He took a step away and fell to his knees, face in hands, Gibbs right beside him and Abby rushing to his side.

Tears streaming down his face and he looked up, seemingly talking to no one. For the first time in years, Tony prayed. "Take the very breath you gave me, take the heart from my chest. I'll take her place if you let me, make this my last request." He choked his words, face reddened by his cries, "God, please don't take the girl."

* * *

**A/N: **I know this seems like a mean place to leave it, but this is where the song ends and I think it's an emotional end. Not everything can be a happy ending, but then again, the end is just where the author decided to stop writing… And I know the whole Ziva-totally-drunk-outta-her-mind and unable to defend herself is kinda OOC, but I think it fits for the story. And hey… EVERYONES been that drunk at some point, right? …just me? K, moving on…

**PLEASE REVIEW. **I'm kinda starting to feel frustrated, I won't write anymore if no one likes it, haha…


	5. Heart Hush

**Title: Heart Hush  
Characters: Tony, Ziva,  
Inspiration: _Heart Hush_ _by Reba McEntire  
A/N: Betherzz, this is for you. Not AS fluffy as I would like, but I promise not to make you cry this time ;D  
_**Summary: Tiva spies on Tony as he invades her favorite café…

* * *

Everyone has a safe place; somewhere they can always run to just to get away from the stresses of work, relationships, or whatever life may throw at them. For Ziva David, this place was a little hole in the wall café very few knew of, but had the hidden charm of a Parisian getaway.

It was a relaxed Friday evening, the sun setting just enough to give the back patio a soft glow. She sat at her favorite table, smiling at the only server the place had.

"Shalom, Jackie," she nodded and tipped the book in her head slightly.

"Hey, Ziva! How have you been?"

"I have been well, work is the same as usual." She smiled once more and opened her book, pleased with the familiarity. Though their three line conversation never varied, the exchange of names was all she needed to feel welcome.

She had frequented this place since shortly after she started work at NCIS, and though she was happy her presence was missed for the summer months she waved it off saying she went to see family and stayed for an extended visit.

Now that she had fallen back into a sense of routine since she returned to D.C. the café seemed to flow in naturally with her weekend. She knew many of the other regulars, if not by name at least by face. Pleasantries were rarely exchanged, but a smile and a nod as they sat in scattered tables around the patio were a given. It was few and far between that she saw a new face in her safe place. That was until tonight.

She let out an exasperated sigh as she saw Tony saunter through the back door to the patio. It seemed as though he was either looking for someone or surveying the area. She settled on the latter when he went back inside and wandered out with a friend. A female friend. A very good looking female friend. She felt her face flush with both embarrassment and anger with herself for acknowledging a pang of jealousy. She refused to give up _her_ safe place, so instead she sat back with her tea, very intent on reading her book.

Unsure of how long had gone by she finally looked up and realized the sun was gone, and she was reading with only the lamp post perched behind her table. _Her_ table. This was still her place and she decided to stay until after Tony left. She was going to stay at _her_ table at _her _safe place. Who did he think he was invading on her space? She glanced down at her book and realized that she must have kept reading the same lines over and over, because she was only two pages further than where she was when Tony arrived. Where had the time gone, and what was she thinking about?

Out of the corner of her eye she saw both him and his _lady friend_ stand at the same time. She leaned in and said something in his ear and he laughed, a genuine laugh, joined with a genuine smile. Ziva expected him to place a hand on the small of her back and follow her out of the café, but instead he leaned in and with a gentle kiss on her cheek he stood there as she walked away.

Shocked by her partners actions she stared at his back as he stood there, one hand on the back of his chair, the other in his pocket. She saw him shake his head and could swear she heard him chuckle, and when she saw him start to take a step she dropped her head back down to her book, trying to refocus where she left off.

"Is this seat taken?" Tony's voice struck her and she froze like a deer in headlights. "Ziva? Is. This. Taken." She shook herself conscious.

"Yes. I mean, no." She regained her composure. "You may sit." He chuckled. She wanted to smack him. Why was he always so good at catching her off guard, wasn't that her expertise? He settled in and looked around the patio as if he had just arrived. "Where is your… friend?"

"Who?"

"The one you were here with." he stared back at her blankly. "Your lady friend." She said as she rolled her eyes.

"Oh! Cheryl. Eh," he waved the name away as if it was a fly in his face, "she had to get home. Ooh, pastry." He went for the nearly untouched scone on her plate and she swatted his hand. He looked dejected for a second and then tried again, slower, with a mischievous smile. She let him have it, squinting her eyes, with a suppressed smile. "She wasn't any fun, anyway." He munched on the scone.

"Is that why you did not accompany her?"

"Where?"

"To her home." Ziva tried to keep a blank face as she said the three simple words. Tony laughed out loud, nearly losing the scone he had so newly acquired.

"You think-? Didn't I-? Oh, wow. No, Cheryl is an old friend from Baltimore. We're just friends."

"Uh huh." A skeptical eyebrow was raised. No woman could be 'just friends' with Anthony DiNozzo for long…

"More like girlfriend of a friend, really…" a teasing glint in his eye implied there was more to the story than he was saying.

"Oh? I never pictured you as a housebreaker, Tony." He had to think a second on that one. Ok, maybe two seconds.

"House… Home wrecker, Zi, gee I thought you were getting better with this stuff." He leaned back in his chair, casually, almost ignoring the question. "Nah, I _do_ have my morals and values to stand by, y'know." He took a bite of the scone and winked at her.

She wasn't sure what it was about this man, but something made her feel nervous, excited and confused all at once. His hair was always _just _messy enough to make it look like he rolled out of bed. That was… intriguing. His smile was _just_ lopsided enough to make her stomachs do flips. That was… new. And his- well, Ziva could list a hundred things about her partner that had almost no explanation or adjective, but when she had to put a word to all of it, she was infatuated with him. More than that, she could even go as far as to say she was falling for this man. _But I'll never tell.._

"Never the less," Ziva started again, "you went on a date with her, so that is **home wrecking **enough, is it not?" Finally Tony broke down and shook his head with laughter."I'm sorry, I don't mean to laugh, its just... she's a lesbian, Zee-vah. Little Miss Nosy. I worked with her girlfriend for a few months."

"Oh."

"Yes, 'oh'," he still chuckled, "she was in town for business and we decided to catch up. Other than her girlfriend, we had almost nothing to talk about, I'm surprised we were here for this long." He spoke easily, as if it was common knowledge. In actuality, Ziva was surprised that the fact she was taken, by another woman no less, stopped Tony at all. _Maybe he is changed..._ "Speaking of here," he interrupted her thoughts, "why are you alone on a Friday night, anyway?"

"I am not alone," she raised her book, which she nearly forgot was in her hands. How long had it been she actually read a sentence? "I like it here. It is… comforting. It lets me get away from everything. It is a good place to escape from everything."

"And everyone?"

"Yes, sometimes, that too."

"Well, then," he stood to leave, straightening his jacket exaggeratedly, he took one hand in his and slowly bringing it to his lips, "Miss David," his lips were a breath from her knuckles, sending a shiver up her spine, "I have invaded your space long enough, I shall leave you to your escape." He softly kissed the back of her hand, his eyes never leaving hers.

The goose bumps on her skin… when did they get there? With this simple gesture he had reopened a floodgate of emotions and thoughts she had worked so had to ignore.

She was so surprised by this sign of affection she almost didn't stop him as he walked away.

"Tony!" His head turned and her heart jumped. Standing there smiling with his eyes locked on hers, he couldn't hear her screaming on the inside. _Lips, you may move, but don't you say too much. _"Please, join me." She motioned to the chair in front of her.

He took the few strides back slowly, keeping eye contact with her.

"My, my, Zee-vah," he put one hand behind his back, the other softly on his stomach, "am I to believe that you are inviting me on a little _date_ here," he looked around, "at your safe place?"

She looked at him through squinted eyes once more.

"Well," she paused and refused to let the smile tugging at the edges of her mouth show, "you owe me a scone."

He gave a mock slight bow and with a smile on his face he sat to join her, at her Parisian get away.

_Oh, and please, heart hush…_

_

* * *

**A/N:** Okay, honestly, I'm not too sure how I feel about this chapter! I could have gone SO many different ways with this story but I wanted something a little lighter than my previous chapters, but not totally wander from the story. And, somehow, I feel my stories get very Tony-centric, so I thought focusing on Ziva was in order. **PLEASE REVIEW**, let me know what you think. You've seen my writing across the board now, from angst to romance, to tidbit fluff... what more would YOU like to read? Let me know! :)  
_


	6. Anything but Mine

**Title: Anything but Mine  
Characters: Tony, Ziva, Gibbs  
****Inspiration: _Anything but Mine by Kenny Chesney_  
Time Period: Tony and Gibbs first assignment  
**Summary: A fresh new NCIS agent, Tony is on his first overseas assignment when he meets an exotic beauty in a foreign city.

A/N: Its been so long since I've posted, I know! I have a lot of stuff going on right now, trying to join the USMC and lots of paperwork for that. I could have stretched this out but I wanted to get it posted so bad, so here ya go!

* * *

"So, is he good enough for you?"

"He's not my type," the slightly silver haired agent replied, earning himself a chuckle across the phone line. "I think we could make something work."

"Are you sure, Gibbs? You live up to the second B your name's been gifted with, kinda makes people run for the door pretty quick."

"Would I have brought him overseas with me if I thought otherwise?"

"No," Director Morrow replied, shaking his head, knowing his agent had made up his mind, "no I guess not. See you back in the office Monday, 0700."

"Have my coffee ready this time, will ya, that new Star place on base tastes like crap." He laughed slightly and hung up, amazed at the potential of his new agent.

"Sir?"

Except for that.

"What did I say about calling me 'sir', DiNozzo."

"Oh, right, sorry.. Uh, Boss?" Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo. Probationary, technically, but with Gibbs taking him under his wing, he was hardly probationary, it was clear he wanted him to stay, and he was going to make sure he made it.

"Whatdya need, Tony?" Gibbs turned and faced the younger man, starting to walk through the halls of the Embassy, towards the exit.

"Well seeing as how the case is wrapped up and we still have another 48 hours here in Tel Aviv…"

"You want to 'see the sights' of Tel Aviv?" the Senior agent offered.

"Well, maybe, but I was hoping at least as far as that bar down the street we drove past. It's not far from the hotel, we could grab some drinks, some girls-" and his bosses stern look he threw up his hands and took a step away, "oh no girls, it's all the same. Anyway, whatdya say? A night out to celebrate closing the case?" He looked at Gibbs with a hopeful smile. He had only been partnered with the man, hell- he'd only been at NCIS for two weeks and he was already in another country, so he was hoping he was making good impressions so far.

Gibbs looked at the man in front of him, handpicked for his new team. He was definitely a wise ass, actually reminded Gibbs of younger version of himself at times. He had great street smarts, definitely was a quick study and learned the NCIS priorities and regulations quickly. Definitely a keeper as far as he was concerned.

"Nah," Gibbs made a face and shrugged, "you go ahead, I'm gonna go up to my room, I'll leave the paperwork for tomorrow but I need some sleep. Just **don't**," he pointed a finger nearly between Tony's eyes.

"…Don't what?"

"Whatever you think is a good idea in the moment, just don't."

Tony grinned at his bosses vagueness. "Yes, boss," his grinned reminded Gibbs of the Cheshire cat, but shook his head and walked away nonetheless.

----------

Tony showered and shaved, opting for a simple white button up shirt and dark jeans for his night out. He wasn't quite sure what the dress code was at this place, he had passed it and heard music blaring and saw the bright neon lights in the window. _Ahh,_ he thought, _just like home_.

He fixed his hair, 'fixing' consisting on taking 20 minutes to make it just disheveled enough to look like he did nothing to it, and headed for the door. He wandered in and saw a scene from his old home haunts: a couple of drunks already getting loud at the end of the bar, tables of people taking shots, and beautiful, exotic women. Well, the exotic wasn't normal for him, but even better, he supposed. He sat at the edge of the bar and ordered a beer, people watching as he took in his surroundings. The lights dimmed and he looked around, hearing the claps he assumed a band was about to play. Instead he heard the sultry voice of a woman and as the music played a little louder the lights went up on stage and he was stuck on the woman on stage.

She wore a light violet dress, flowing enough to get picked up by the light wind of the open door in the front of the bar. It had a sloping neckline, just enough to make a man's eye wandered, not that Tony's eyes needed any encouragement. The dress was held up by a silver strap, and as she moved around the stage her long, curly black hair covered just enough of her exposed back, but her tanned olive glow was visible even in the lowlight of the room. He seemed entranced by her deep brown eyes, and her smile was in the slightest tug of a grin. She wore the type of look that made every man in the room feel like she was focusing solely on him; but maybe that was wishful thinking.

Near the end of the song she wandered into the crowded bar, most of the patrons sitting at scattered tables. As she noticed Tony alone at the bar she approached him, her strides slow, as lion stalking its prey would linger. He felt a lump in his throat and Tony almost stopped breathing. The song neared it's end as she reached him, walking up and standing right inbetween his legs as he perched on the stoole. She ran a finger along his jaw line, sending chills through his entire body. She held the last note of the sultry song as she ducked her face towards his, just as the lights went down.

The crowd went crazy with applause, cheering for one more song. She stayed where she was and he heard her giggle.

"Hi," he tried breathlessly. He felt her tap his nose with her finger and turned and walked away. Just like that.

----------

The next morning as Tony sorted his paperwork he couldn't get his mind off the beauty he watched sing the bar the night before. The rest of the night was uneventful, he talked to some other travelers, explaining he was there on business, as they were there to visit family. After three or four beers he decided to retreat for the night. In all honesty, he knew was waiting to hopefully see the singer again, but she never appeared. Slightly upset he went back to his room and went to sleep. Not exactly a typical DiNozzo night out. At least he could tell Gibbs that he stayed out of trouble and actually mean it.

He went to the adjoining room and knocked on the door cautiously, "Hey boss," he waited for a response and when all he heard was rustling he decided to come back later, afraid he woke up the Senior Agent. Just as he was about to leave the door opened and he saw Gibbs in an old t-shirt and sweats, "hey! Um-"

"What, Tony."

"I had a question about the form for…" over his boss' shoulder he caught a flash of red hair, coming out of the rest room, "never mind." He turned on his heel and walked briskly to his own bathroom, trying to flash his mind of what he had just seen.

"Rule 32, DiNozzo!" Gibbs shook his head and shut the door.

_Rule 32... Gonna hafta find out what that means. _And Tony retreated back to his paperwork, waiting for nighttime again…

----------

That night Tony got ready once more, hoping against hope that he would see the singer, or more specifically get to talk to her. He dressed up a little more, in black slacks, a white button up and a simple black blazer. He headed out and headed towards the same bar stool to wait.

It was only 8 o'clock, but the dark of the night and bright stars above made it seem much later. As he walked in the gorgeous woman he had stared at for what seemed like hours the night before was already mid-song. This time he glanced around the bar, and saw the lust in all the men's eyes. _Is that what I looked like?_ He felt a twinge of embarrassment, not noticing he was walking directly to the front of the room, right in front of the singer he had sought for. She caught his eyes, and before he realized their proximity she took three steps to the close the distance between them. The end of the song reached a high note and she wrapped a hand around his neck and looked at the men staring in awe and jealousy. She slowly wrapped a leg around his and pulled it up slowly. His hand reflexively went to her thigh, taking her by surprise, and the lights dimmed.

"You never said hello," he teased her playfully as the crowd catcalled. He felt her try to leave him and he left his hand where it rested. "Can I at least get your name?"

"No," she said coyly, "but you may join me."

He cocked his head to the side and followed her to a table in the back of the lounge area.

"No name? What shall I call you then?

"Hmm… "

"I have an idea," he said, leaning in over the small, two-person table she had lead him to, "how about we don't learn anything about each other." She squinted her eyes and looked at him through slit eyes in a way that drove him crazy. "You can call me… Matthew. What shall I call you?"

"You may call me… Mary."

"Ok, _Ma-ry_, he stressed her name playfully, "I have a proposition. We have a few drinks, we see what else this town has, and have the best night either of us have had in a long time."

"And then?"

"And then I will go back home to… Cleveland…" he lied slowly, "and we'll never see each other again, but we'll have some awesome memories to keep of each other. Deal?"

She thought for a second, laughing slightly at his idea. "Ok, Matthew, deal. So where do you suggest we start?"

"Hmm.. Well, let's start with the drinks then, and we'll see where it goes."

"You, Mr. Matthew, are a very… intriguing man."

"Intriguing?" he feigned hurt with a hand over his heart, "I was going to give you the word sexy, but I supposed I can make it 'interesting' instead." He waved a waiter down and ordered two dirty martinis. As they waited for the drinks they sized each other up.

_You said you wanted something different, _he told himself, _and she is definitely different… What's the phrase, olive-skinned exotic beauty?_

Her eyes scanned him up and down, _You could do worse,_ she thought with a hint of amusement, _much, much worse._

Their drinks arrived and he raised his glass.

"To a night we'll never forget."

"Let's hope we'll never want to." She raised an eyebrow and took a sip, she could see the wheels turning in his head.

_Whatever you think is a good idea in the moment… just __**don't.**_His boss' words came back to haunt him, but looking over his martini, all he could focus on were those dark brown eyes, reading him like a book.

"Are you nervous, Michael?"

"Not a chance." He raised his glass, "besides, what's the worst you could do to me?"

She laughed a full hearty laugh. "Oh you have _no_ idea…"

They had their drinks and talked about Tel Aviv. He said he was there on a business deal for work, which wasn't exactly a lie, but close enough to the truth to be able to stick with it. She told him she had grown up not far, working for her family business, refusing to give any more details. They each had another martini, and then decided to wander the area and see what else they could find to do.

As they walked out of the bar he casually slipped his arm around her waist. They both felt the electricity spark as their skin touch and she shivered slightly.

"Are you cold?" She shook her head and lead him to a small store at the end of the block.

"Come, you will see many things you like here."

It was a quaint little shop with nice blazers, shirts, ties and slacks. She lead him to the ties and started picking some up and holding them to his chest.

"Ho oh," he chuckled, watching her decide how to dress him, "known me for so little and already trying to change me?"

"Not change," she held up another tie to him, "improve."

"That's what females always say when they are avoiding the word 'change', Ma-_ry._"

"Here," she decided on a simple, blacks skinny tie to go with his outfit, "this one looks… handsome on you."

He held the tie up to his neck and looked at himself in the mirror. He wasn't usually fond of ties but had never tried such a skinny one before. He actually liked it.

"Well then, if you think it looks good, it must be." He took it to the teller and bought it, putting it on immediately. As he straightened it out he turned, arms spread out, for her approval. "Good?"

She took two steps closer and ended up almost flush against his chest. She toyed with the tie in her hands, never breaking eye contact with him.

"It looks very sexy on you, Matthew." She saw the heat raise red to his cheeks as he cleared his throat.

"Where to next?" He asked, not trying to put any distance between them. His hands fell to the small of her back, and she pulled away slowly, holding on to the tie, slowly leading him out the door.

"I'm sure we can find somewhere interesting to go."

By the time they were outside the door the tie had fallen from her fingers and his body seemed to be on fire, craving her touch again. She stared out to the streets, watching the people go by, always aware of his presence. She felt as though she didn't even need to see him to know here he was at, and she felt him getting closer to her. He put his arms around her waist as she still faced away from him. He leaned and spoke softly in her ear.

"Are there any other sights you want to see?" He lingered near her ear and neck, blowing softly, making her shiver once more.

"Well that depends," she turned to face him, his hands still on her waist.

"On?" His face was still lowered to hers, his mouth only a breath away from hers.

"Mmm.." she closed the distance slowly, and right before their lips met she had a playful glint in her eyes, "I have not seen where you are staying. If you would like to give me an invitation."

He took that as a green light and put his lips to hers.

"I think I might love you." He whispered after his lips softly left hers. They paused for a second and laughed because they both knew it wasn't true. Without hesitation she wrapped hers arms around his back, feeling the muscles through his shirt. His arms tightened around her and kissed her again, nearly unable to stop himself. It was she who pulled away first. She said nothing as she grinned and looked into his eyes. She saw the lust behind his eyes, but a glint of something more. He took her hand and lead her down the street, focused on getting to his hotel room as fast as their legs would carry them.

----------

He awoke the next morning to an empty bed. Rolling over and stretching he thought that it may have all been a dream. He saw the tie hanging over the chair and smiled to himself. Though he may have been a self-proclaimed king of one night stands, he was rarely the one left in the morning. Getting out of bed he pulled on a pair of shorts and wandered to the bathroom, turning on the shower as he brushed his teeth. He turned and looked back at his hotel room, smile still on his face.

_Bed, check.. Well that was a given… Desk, check. Didn't need those cover pages for the reports anyway. Bathroom, check. How did we end up in here? _His mind wandered until his reverie was broken by Gibbs knock on the pass-through door.

"DiNozzo!" Apparently his boss was up bright and early, sounded like he was coffeeless so far.

"Yes boss!" Tony swung open the door, toothbrush still in hand.

"We leave in 20 minutes, aren't you ready yet?"

Tony sputtered, "Uh, yeah, um, long night, boss." He had a cheeky grin as he tried to look over Gibbs' shoulder. "You?" His boss grunted in reply. Apparently a lonely night lead to lonely, coffeeless morning. Not good. "Shutting up, boss. Ready to go in 15 minutes."

He closed the door and looked back at the room. He finished brushing his teeth and through his clothes in his bags, papers in his briefcase and started to get dressed. He debated for a second and then opted for the skinny tie that Mary had picked out for him. Definitely a night he would never forget.


	7. Designated Drinker

**Title: Designated Drinker  
Characters: Tony, Ziva, Gibbs, Abby, misc  
****Inspiration: _Desinated Drinker, by Alan Jackson_  
Time Period: None specific.  
**Summary: Tony and Tim have a new hang out, Gibbs finds a new redhead, Ziva and Abby get a show from the boys!

A/N: So sorry for the extended wait! As I said, I'm in the process of joining the Marines and it's been so time consuming that I had no energy I needed to fully devote to this piece. It ended up being longer than I planned. I wanted to end it sooner, but those little plot bunnies started wandering in their own direction! Ah well. Enjoy, I have another story half finished, so maybe I'll post that up fast if you like this one. :) _PS: Happy belated birthday to ItalianBabexo8!_

* * *

The past two weeks had been uneventful and full of drama all at once. They had two cases in a 12 day span, both open and shut. The first, the murder of a Petty Officer, the girlfriend confessed after just two days of investigation, leaving the team with double checking all other angles but finally settling with her story. Paperwork followed. The second was the abduction of a Private First Class, and three days into the investigation she came forward saying she staged it to get away from a fiancé she didn't have the heart to break up with. Paperwork followed. The work was tedious, but the in-house drama was enough to drive everyone insane.

Gibbs was in a sort of blissful ignorance, to a point, but by the third day he had been wrangled into the stories by McGee and Tony, definitely against his will. On the other side of the battlefield Abby was blaring her music louder than ever and Ziva… well, she sat at her desk sharpening her knives, shooting her own daggers in Tony's direction. He didn't ask too many questions, and in return for not swamping him with drama, all the boys requested was a ride home.

"You want me to join you at a bar, DiNozzo? Didn't you learn the last time that it's not a good idea for you."

Tony shook his head, ignoring the memory of sleeping under a table, his face peppered with peanut shells.

"Well, yes, that was stupid, but this time I won't even _try_ to keep up with you." He turned his attention to McGee, "honestly, Tim, don't ever let me think that's a good idea again, I couldn't even think of alcohol for a week." Tim smiled, picturing a plastered DiNozzo in their boss' presence. Tony shifted back to their boss, "C'mon, you don't want us to drive home drunk, do ya? Besides, you don't even HAVE to drink with us, though the invitation always stands, but last time Liz threatened to lock us up in the basement until we sobered up."

"You seem to have that affect on bartenders, don't ya, DiNozzo?" The older man smiled slightly at his agents memory, knowing he took the reference to an interview gone bad in jest. Finally he sighed, "Which bar?"

"I'll print you out a map search, and I'll tell you now: hat and boots are completely optional but definitely recommended."

------------------

And so began the weekly ritual of the Gibbs Pickup. It wasn't that they couldn't get a cab, but honestly Tony kind of missed it when him and the boss could go out and grab a drink. It started as soon as he joined NCIS, even before Blackadder joined them for her short stint. They would go out at the close of a case, grab some drinks and ignore the problems from work for as long as possible. He'd never tell anyone of their nights out, understanding Gibbs' persona he's evolved into, but those were some of his fondest memories since he moved to DC. It was more than his friendship with his frat brothers, or even his partner back in Baltimore. To him it was learning everything he could over those drinks from his new boss, his mentor.

He knew it was a long shot to invite him out, so he thought maybe he could wear him down again by asking for a ride home on Friday nights. Tim had fought him all the way, afraid to let their boss see him inebriated, but Tony persisted, and as his luck always seems to have it when he least expects it, Gibbs agreed. They had jumped from bar to bar when they first started going out ("C'mon, Tim, I need a wingman! Hell, _you _need a wingman! We'll be wingmen!"), but after a while they settled on a small country-western bar on the skirts out town. Not what they usually preferred, but after a few drinks, the old dusty karaoke machine in the corner looked pretty damn tempting. So to the Steel Toe they went week after week.

After about 6 weeks of the hostility at the office Gibbs was getting more than a little irritated. The boys versus girls was making him feel like he was in charge of a second grade recess fight. Still avoiding the full details of the drama, all he knew was, well, boys versus girls and that was it.

When the older agent decided to be honest with himself, he'd admit that he really did enjoy the nights he picked up his boys at the bar. The first two weeks he went as soon as they called, no early, but after that he showed up a little after they did, giving them time to get drunk enough before he got there to not ruin their fun. He knew Tim still had a little fear hidden away just for him, and though he was glad for it, he saw this as a way to slowly let him at least see him as scary boss as work, but not scary guy at the bar. Eventually he was able to walk in and see a little note card that read, "El Jefe" placed at his regular seat in a table near the corner by a little stage. He was confused at first, and then he had a talk with Liz.

"Oh these boys are a riot after a few shots. They start askin' for ya, wantin' to save ya a seat for their little show," she waved her hand nonchalantly at the stage, "and I asked 'em what name to put down. Tony started it, I think, but Tim definitely went along with it." She smiled genuinely at the drunken antics of her two favorite regulars. They were definitely city boys, she knew, but they knew how to have a good time.

"So they're proud of this little show they got goin' now, huh?" Gibbs sipped some bourbon, highly amused.

"Oh yeah. They try to act like every time is their last, but we always get em up there again!" Liz laughed and shook her head as she watched El Jefe walk back to his reserved chair, just as the crowd started asking for their favorite Friday night performance…

------------------

The seventh week came and went, and Friday morning was the roughest day so far. Gibbs had heard Ziva and Tony screaming at each other in the parking garage, silencing them with a glare as he walked by. Trying to keep their problems away from the work environment they brought them all the way to the front door, literally. Just as luck would have it he walked down to Abby's lab just in time to see her fling her phone at the wall. He raised his eyebrows at her, saying nothing.

"Tim," was all she said. He shrugged and handed her a Caf-Pow. Her body language improved but she still wore a sour look on her face.

After she was done briefing him on the evidence from their most current case, he motioned her to the elevator. She looked perplexed but followed in short choppy steps regardless. They walked through the bullpen, and he motioned for Ziva.

"Conference room, NOW." She hastily followed, both girls in the older man's wake. As soon as the doors closed he let the elevator sit a second, finally pushed a random floor button and the lift traveled a few feet before he flipped the emergency switch. He turned and stared at his girls for a second, holding a steady glare before speaking.

"Is any of this ever going to end?" They looked at him slightly confused, saying nothing. "Don't play dumb, both of you! Icy glares, throwing phones, sharpening knives… what is wrong with all of you!?"

Abby looked near tears, very rarely did she ever receive Gibbs' wrath. Ziva was staring down at her feet, obviously very uncomfortable with the topic at hand.

"No? Neither of you want to tell me?" He crossed his arms staring them both down until they both started babbling at once.

"Tony and I have been-

"Timmy has been such a-"

"And all of a sudden he-"

"I didn't even do anything!"

"So we both decided it'd be best-"

"And then HE decided that we should-"

"ENOUGH." Both girls stopped mid-sentences, holding their breath afraid to even breathe too loudly. "Both of you," his voice softened a bit, "are to go home, _now._"

"But Gibbs-!" Ziva tried to interject but was silence with a glare.

"They will both be severely punished, trust me. Not like they haven't been every Friday night by their own doing anyway.." The girls looked at him quizzically and then he had the faintest glimmer of a smirk playing on his lips. "Tonight, 10 o'clock. Be ready." With that he resumed the elevators lift, thoroughly thanking whatever god there may be that tonight was Friday night.

------------------

Gibbs met Ziva and Abby outside the bar, wearing his poker face as if nothing was different.

"Gibbs." Ziva was very hesitant in her words. "May I ask why we are standing outside a country bar?"

"No, you may not." He held the door open for the girls, "it would make more sense to ask me why we're going _in _to a country bar."

Gibbs ushered them to a small booth close to the door, away from the stage in the back of the dance area. Right on the edge of the dance floor was Gibbs' table, name card and all.

"I think you may be losin' it in your old age, Gibbs," Abby teased, "we're being punished by being taken to a country bar? I can think of worse forms of torture."

"As can I," Ziva added under her breath. As they sat Gibbs' swiped something off the table, prompting Abby's natural curiosity.

"Ooh! What's that?" Before Gibbs could respond, Ziva answered.

"El Jefe." Abby giggled, Ziva smirked, and Gibbs smacked them both on the back of the head.

"Sit."

"Wait, aren't you going to join us?"

"Oh no," he backed up slowly, "you have to figure this out on your own." He smiled just slight enough to confuse them both, and walked away as they sat down. He headed to his own seat and Liz walked over.

"New friends?" she asked as she set down his cup of bourbon.

"Nah, just some troublemakers I ran into." He grinned.

"Oh, Jethro, you are just a magnet for them types aren't ya?" She patted his shoulder and walked behind the bar just in time for Tony and Tim to wander back to the table.

"El Jefe!! You came just in time!" Tony plopped himself in a seat next to his boss, Tim following suit, amazingly more sober than his senior partner. "Show time! Right, Tim!"

"Uh, Tony, I think I'm goin to sit out this performance…" his eyes shifted slightly, "I don't think I drank enough to be able to do this tonight."

Tony pouted, handing his beer over to the younger man, "then drink up! You can join me!"

------------------

Back in their little corner Abby and Ziva watched Gibbs' flirt with the bartender, among other happenings in the bar.

"Still a thing for redheads.." Abby mumbled, watching Liz hand him a bourbon, as if she did it everyday. "Of course he'd find a bar with a redheaded bartender."

"Abby, you sound jealous."

"Not jealous! Just… protective."

"Don't worry, Abby," Ziva patted her friends arm lightly, "you will _always_ be Gibbs' favorite, black hair and all." She watched her friends face glow and accept her words. They both went back to watching the room until her breath caught. "Abby… do you-"

"I see, I see, Ziva!" The goth was nearly bouncing in her seat. "Did Gibbs' know they would be here? Is that why we're here? Should we talk to them? Maybe they don't know we're here. Or what if they do and they don't want to come over here!"

"Abby! Calm down. They have not seen us yet, so let's see what happens…"

As if right on cue Tony stepped onto the little stage, and the bar began to clap.

"Why hello there!" Tony tipped his overly gaudy cowboy hat, most likely bought just for these bar nights. "Looks like we have quite a nice little crowd tonight… So who wants to go first??" He motioned to the karaoke machine next to him and he heard cheers in reply. "Oh me? Nah, not tonight." He walked off stage and some people laughed, others pushed him back towards the stage. He was a little off balance, but barely made it nonetheless. "Can't get enough of me, huh!"

Ziva rolled her eyes. He was even more full of himself when he was drunk.

"Ok, you guys and very, _very_ lovely gals," he wiggled his eyebrows at a table of girls in the front suggestively, "which little diddy am I blowing your eardrums out with tonight?"

Shouts of random titles were flying. Tony put an exaggerated hand to his ear, listening to all the ideas. Finally he acted surprised and pointed to the back corner. "You!" Ziva and Abby both stopped breathing, feeling as if he was looking right at them. "What do you beautiful ladies want to hear?" Luckily there was a table of three model-looking blondes sitting closer and to the side of their table. Ziva and Abby exhaled loudly.

"Sing your favorite, Cowboy!" one of the girls yelled.

"Cowboy?" Abby raised her eyes at Ziva. "It's like we've found Tony's alter ego."

"I am not sure which one is more strange," the Israeli replied slowly, looking Tony up and down as he bantered with the crowd on stage. Did he really not know they were there? Yes, the stage lights were now directly in his eyes, but maybe he was just ignoring their presence.. Would he want to know that she was there? Would it matter?

Glancing at the table in the front corner, Abby watched Gibbs and Tim exchange some words. In the back of her mind she thought Tim must be happy to be getting a genuine one on one moment with Gibbs. How often did this happen? Sometimes she felt as thought everyone had a special connection with their boss except for Tim. He had his moment where he would be awarded a "good job, Tim," which was more often than the others got, but it still made her smile a little, seeing him get attention.

Both girls were snapped back from their thoughts as the music started to play. Tony tapped his toe in beat, picking up the wireless microphone that was sitting atop a speaker and some of the crowd began to clap.

"Here's my keys," he sang, tossing his set to Gibbs in the corner, "I want you to take 'em, I think I'm gonna need you to get back home." Laughing, he pocketed Tony's keys in a very show-style, non-Gibbs way, knowing this was part of Tony's performance. Tony wandered the crowd, definitely enjoying the attention, the crowd loving every moment.

"I **cannot **believe this." Abby sat there shocked, hardly able to comprehend the sight in front of her.

"I do not think I **want** to believe this is happening." Ziva shook her head, almost embarrassed. But as she looked around she realized that the crowd wasn't egging on a sloppy drunk, or poking fun at an inept singer. They were truly, _genuinely_ enjoying the show. As she looked back up Tony was circling a table of busty girls in cowgirl attire. He softly took his hat and placed in on the head of one of the girls and she squealed in delight.

"Hold on to my hat, I don't wanna lose it," he tapped the top of the hat softly as he continued to roam the crowd, "couldn't stand for something else to be gone." He headed back for the stage and patted McGee's shoulder, "I'm sure you know the reason I'm here cryin'," McGee returned the gesture and nodded grandly as Tony stole and took one of his shots before belting out, "I think **you'll** understand why!" He emphasized his word with jumping back on stage, holding the mic out to the crowd.

"Toniiiight," the crowd sang, "I'm the designated drinker..! I just lost the one that wrapped me 'round her finger!!"

As the crowd continued to sing, with the very grandiose leading by Tony, Ziva and Abby finally realized the drinks they had ordered were still sitting in front of them. Finally starting to relax the glanced at each other and smiled, cheered their shots and relaxed to enjoy the show. They turned back to the stage, both pleasantly surprised, actually listening after the intial shock wore off, that their dear Anthony DiNozzo had quite a good voice.

Tony took the mic back to his lips with one hand, and outstretched the other to El Jefe's table, "I need a friend, to see me through," Tim started shaking his head, still feeling too sober to perform anything, but this time at least he did it with a smile. By the time Tony sang out a few more lines Liz had graciously provided the young agent with two shooters of lord only knows what. At that moment Tim really prayed that Liz remembered he hated Tequila and took both shooters double fisted, receiving a loud roar of approval from the crowd. Liz forgot. He shook the taste from his mouth just in time to feel Gibbs' nudging him toward the stage.

As they watched, Abby tapped the arm of a girl who looked as if she was accustomed to the show. "Excuse me," Abby motioned for the girl to sit for a moment, and with a welcoming smile on her face the girl obliged. "What's their story?" Abby motioned towards the stage, where Tony was just reaching his arm out to a reluctant Tim.

"Oh the boys?" She giggled slightly, "they're harmless. They've been comin' here almost every Friday night for about… two months now I would say. You new here?"

"Yes, this is quite…. Different, than anything I've seen recently," Ziva waved down another round, a faint smile playing on her face. "Do they always sing such depressing songs?"

"Ha, this isn't the worst of it! This is a playful night. Sometimes they're really down, and that's when they go for the deep stuff. But they come here to try to forget their girls, I guess." Both Abby and Ziva froze. Forget? "Well, not forget really, more like pine for. The one singin right now, the cute flirty one? He's totally head over heels for this girl, but apparently she won't take him." She leaned in as if telling a secret, "which is ridiculous because he's such a cutie!" She sat back and drank some of her beer. "He really is sweet though. Every night there are girls buying them both drinks," just as the words left her mouth shots were delivered to the stage, "he'll take them and talk to the girls after, but always politely declines." She shrugged, "turned me down, but at least he was a gentleman about it. So hard to find that, these days.."

Tim was finally up on stage, singing the chorus along with the crowd, Tony handing him the newly delivered shot. Tim greened for a second, but in front a roomful of people couldn't say no.

"What about him?" Abby pried, eyes begging for answers.

"Ugh, that poor guy," the girls eyes softened, "I guess he had this girl and now they're seeing other people, but he just does it because she wants him to move on. I guess she recently got some new guy and threw it in his face, or he walked in on her or something." She looked back at the stage and shrugged once more. "but what can you do? That's usually how it happens right? All the girls want the good guys, but when they find 'em they let em slip away."

They thanked her for filling them in and she went to join some of her friends as both the girls sat there and absorbed the information they just heard. Suddenly they both felt completely sobered.

"We need to get where we can't think of her," both of them sang in unison as the song was winding down, "We need to get to where we can't think of her," the crowd raised their glasses and sang the last line with them, "so tonight, we're the designated drinkers…"

As the music stopped everyone in the bar was clapping, whistling, or cat calling. Though they enjoyed their shows, at the end of each, regardless of the song, the reality of why they were there, why they always drank so much, hit them as they put the mic down. Liz brought them both a glass of water, for which they were thankful. A handful of girls walked up to the stage to meet the slightly off-kilter singers, and as they did Gibbs looked over his shoulder, to where he left Ziva and Abby.

"Well."

"Well."

There was a silence as they both contemplated what to do. After such a show, one that had gone for nearly 8 weeks, how could they stay mad? Yeah, their boys were knuckleheads, but that was inevitable, wasn't it?

"It was really cute," Abby started hesitantly, "and Timmy's butt looked good in those tight pants…"

"I guess I can admit that Tony's voice was… not horrible."

They looked at each other for a second and then broke out in their own smiles.

"C'mon, Ziva, let's go get our drunken cowboys."

As they made their way to the stage Gibbs leaned on the bar, Liz standing beside him.

"Was this your doing, Jethro?"

"Who, me? I just drink here."

"Uh huh." He felt a slightly nudge in his ribs and put his arm around the flirty redhead.

They both waited patiently in the small group of girls to "meet" the singers, and it seemed as if simultaneously Tim and Tony both realized who was standing in front of them.

"Zee?"

"Abby?"

They all stood there standing at each other, and maybe it was just them, but they would swear the chatter around them quieted just a little.

"Uhh--" Tony stuttered, "how long have you ladies been here?" Some ladies to the left of him giggled, never seeing such a suave performer so nervous before. Hushed words surrounded them, everyone guessing who the girls were that caught their showmen so off guard.

"Long enough to catch a good show," Abby replied, walking up and closing Tim's gaping mouth with her finger. "Why didn't you ever wear tight pants for me, Timmy?" She lazily ran her finger down his arm, leaving him near speechless.

"Um. Uh. Tony. Tony made me wear it."

"Ok, McCowboy, you picked them out, I just went with the hat!" As he said he turned side to side hastily searching for the girl with his hat, snatching it off her head, mouthing a sorry at her shock. "The hat." He handed it out to Ziva.

"Is this what you've been doing with yourself all these weekends, Tony?"

He hesitated in his answer. "This feels like a trap. Is this a trap?" His mind was spinning, feeling like he was caught doing something wrong, not sure why.

"This is most definitely not a trap," Abby replied. "Ziva and I just wanted to say we're sorry."

Ziva nodded once, "Yes, we really want to apologize for everything."

Both Tony and Tim stared, shocked. They were taking all the blame? Even for them being stupid?

"Do you even know what you're sorry for, my ninja?" Tony raised his eyebrow with a grin starting to appear.

"Well… no." she confessed. "I forgot why we were fighting two weeks ago." Tony laughed. "Abby did too!"

"Is that true, Abby?" Tim turned and saw the goth staring at him with her puppy eyes she gives when she wants something, "were you mad at me without even knowing why you were mad?"

"…kind of." Tim laughed the same as Tony did. "Don't pretend you two knew! You forgot before we did!"

"Zee?" Tony took her hands in his. "Can we just be ok again?" Ziva smiled and leaned in whispered something in his ears and his face lit up. She put her hand behind her back just in time for Gibbs to walk by, dropping in Tony's keys as he went.

"Just no more fighting in the office." And walked out the door, Liz following shortly.

Wiggling the keys in front of him he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her in for a soft, long overdue makeup kiss. It was only then that they heard the cheers and catcalls once more, but this time, it was for the cowboys getting their girls. They looked over to Tim and Abby, only to hear a quick bye and see them head for the door, speed walking as fast as they could past pats on the back and clapping.

"You do not need to come here to drown your sorrows away again, my little hairy butt." She put her forehead to his, smiling with her lips against his. He stole a kiss and she pulled away slowly.

"Well. We both had to _face the music _sometime, huh?" He smiled cheekily as she laughed outloud, leading him out of the bar.

"Now THAT one makes sense."

* * *

A/N: Soooo... What'd you think??? I had this idea stuck in my head for WEEKS, but wanted to devote the right amount of time to it so it wasn't rushed. Honestly this was the hardest to write so far, because I'm used to one-on-one conversations, having 3+ people in a conversation is hard to write dialogue for without getting repetitive. Anyway! Let me know what you think so I can post the next chapter faster... :)

Oh, and also, I wanted to clarify about Gibbs' character. I really don't think it's OOC to have Gibbs' act this way. After watching the spin off episodes from JAG, when you watch Gibbs he's a lot more laid back and playful with Tony, so I try to elude to that, and at least keep him in THAT original character. Not to mention, I forget which episode it is but there's one where I think it's Jenny who says that Gibbs used to be a lot like DiNozzo. (Don't quote me on that, but I'm pretty sure.) Ok, enough notes! Just wanted to help explain my thought process. GO REVIEW. It'll make me smile.


	8. PS If This Is Austin

**Title: PS If this is Austin**

**Author: TrueVindication**

**Spoilers: None**

**Authors Note: **Hello, fan fiction world! I've missed you so much! It feels like just last week that I was posting, but can you believe it's been 6 months! Crazy. Well. I joined the USMC, went to boot camp, went to combat training and now I'm in Florida for my job school! I've found so many NCIS fans here, it's ridiculous, so as I watch my DVDs and the new episodes (yay! Loving it so far!) I yearn to write. I cranked this out in about a day, so please bear with me as I get back into it. Review! Let me know what you think. J

"She's gone, Tony." And with that his world stopped. "She left this morning, first flight out." Agent Timothy McGee put a hand on his friend's shoulder. "I'm sorry."

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo, self described playboy, had hung up his hat long ago. Maybe it started when he realized he didn't fit in at the spring break celebrations, or maybe even before that when an undercover relationship had actually broken his heart, but whenever it happened, it did. Since then he had his occasional flings, but he knew it wasn't what he wanted. In fact, it was hard for him to even pinpoint what it was he wanted, until France.

"_Abby, I think I'm in trouble." The two sat at a poorly lit bar, in a quiet part of town. "I think I may have done something really stupid while I was gone."_

"_Who, what are you talking about?" The forensic specialist took a sip of her drink, watching her friend's face play between turmoil and excitement. "Are you talking about Paris?"_

_Tony gapped. "Um. Maybe." He sighed. "I don't know, Abs. I'm not sure what's going to happen. It was innocent, as innocent as it could be I guess, but I don't know how this will play out, y'know?"_

He knew it would be a while to rebuild the friendship that he and Ziva once had. He let her take her time coming back to him, never pushing any conversation too hard, or any conversation at all for that matter. The others knew there was tension and avoided inciting anything at all costs, but eventually they got to a crossroads.

"_I'm your friend?'_

"_Yes… no. We are not friends."_

_Watching a pirate movie in the bullpen wasn't necessarily a date, but it wasn't just a coworker night either. He knew there was something, if only a glimmer of a friendship. He saw out of the corner of his eye that she refrained from saying something more and let it rest at that._

Over time things got more comfortable. There were speculations from members of the team, but most of their time together was spent in an under cover fashion. It wasn't that they didn't want people to know, but more of they didn't want people to ask. Neither of them could clarify what was happening, was it friendship? Was it a relationship? They let it take it's course. Nights out to eat, or in to watch a movie. It worked well- he liked to eat and she liked to cook. He wanted to protect her and she just wanted to feel safe. They got to a place they both realized was closer than it was before she decided to stay back in tel Aviv. It was closer and different. He knew what he felt was more than a craving of friendship, but he never said it. She couldn't put into words what was happening, she couldn't admit what she wanted and how he made her feel. Instead they just let the words stay unspoken.

"_Zi, what are we doing?"_

"_Watching a movie." She knew what he meant. Laying on her couch at 1am in the middle of a classic movie marathon he had his arm around her and she rested her head on his chest._

"_You know what I mean."_

"_What do you want me to say, Tony?" She lifted her face to his and waited. He stayed silent but slowly leaned in and kissed her._

_Everyday he thinks about that moment, and how that's when she started pushing him away again._

He cleared his throat, making himself focus back on present conversation. "When is she coming back?"

McGee shifted uncomfortably, "it was a one-way ticket, Tony. She's not coming back."

Tony instinctively reached for his cell phone and his friend shook his head, saying "she left without leaving a number, said she needed to clear her mind." With Tony standing dumbstruck McGee walked away, back to his desk, leaving Tony standing in the middle of the bullpen, staring at the empty desk across from his. The plant she had brought with her was withering and dying. It made her desk look so… lonely. She wasn't coming back.

"Grab your gear," Gibbs always jolted him back from his thoughts at just the right times. He didn't want to think of her right now anyway.

Almost a year went by with no word from Ziva David. Day to day routine had gone back to normal, but the first few weeks were torturous in their own way for each member of the team. Tony was sure she would come back, almost willing to put high stakes on it. McGee saw the hurt his friend held, and watched as he covered it up with his jokes and fake smiles. Strong and silent leader, Gibbs had his own feeling of loss but the team would never comment on it. Down in her lab, Abby felt the frustration.

"Ziva, why can't you just _call him_ and tell him why you left? Do you realize what kind of hurt you're causing over here?"

"I can't Abby, we talked about this. Can we not talk about it again?"

"Fine, but I only bring it up so much because it still hurts _everyone _everyday."

"What about your new agent, hasn't she clicked with the team yet?"

"She's okay, I guess, but she's not you, Ziva, you know that." Abby shook her head to herself, "they know you're not with Mossad again. They're smarter than that."

"I know."

"I'm pretty sure Tony knows where you're at. I can't be certain, but I'm sure he's found you."

"How? I thought the Director promised-"

"No one said anything! But when you're missing someone and have no idea where they're at, you just might be willing to do anything to find them." Ziva didn't say anything. "At least this time if he tries to drag you back it's only a flight to California, not the middle of a desert."

Ziva had a slight smile in her voice, "if he comes to California I'm sure he can find someone else he'd rather drag home."

Not wanting to debate her friends comment Abby continued conversation. "How is the west coast, anyway? Are you still in Los Angeles?"

"No, I was transferred to Monterey, up north, a couple months back. I am helping with their small intelligence team at a training facility. Mainly linguists and code breaking." Ziva made a face, "McGee would enjoy it more than I do, but my language skills and knowledge of secret operations helps in their training."

Abby stayed quiet for a moment, "We really miss you here, Ziva."

"I know, Abby. I miss you, too."

"I gotta go, but do me a favor-"

"Same as always?"

"Yes. Please? Just one call. At least tell him to let go."

"What makes you think he's still holding on?"

"Oh, you'll know," Abby gave a small laugh, "give him a call."

That night Ziva sat in her small apartment by the beach staring at the telephone. She routinely went through this, debating herself if she should call him or not, but tonight she was going to call him.

_We'll talk, and I'll explain, and he'll be okay with it,_ she thought to herself. _It's already been almost a year, he will either be too angry to listen, _she put her money on that one_, or finally seen why I left and we will be okay again._ She scrunched her face at this thought. _Well, maybe not _okay_, but he will understand._

Her hand trembled slightly as she reached for the phone and dialed the familiar number. She took a deep breath and waited. Three rings and an answering machine is what she got.

"Hi, you've reached Anthony DiNozzo, if you're calling about the car I sold it, if this is Tuesday night I'm bowling. If you got something to sell you're wasting your time. I'm not buying. If it's anybody else, wait for the tone you know what to do. PS If this my Ninja, I still love you."

The telephone fell to the counter, she heard but she couldn't believe it. What kind of man would hang on that long? She paced her living room, trying to understand what she had just heard.

_Has he been changing his voicemail that often? Does he always end with that?_

She knew that the greeting couldn't be that old. Abby had just told her a few days ago that Tony was looking to sell his Mustang, a project he tried to pick up but neglected too long to make it worth it. And she was sure that Abby had mentioned to her that Tony and Tim had both joined her in bowling with the nuns a few weeks back. How long had he tacked on that ending to his voicemail greeting?

_That's what Abby meant_, she thought as she started to run a hot shower, hoping to clear her head of his voice replaying again and again. _I still love you._

It took every ounce of will power in her body not to call and bombard Abby with questions. She wanted answers, but a part of her reverted to how she was back in DC. She didn't want anyone to know she called him, not because she was ashamed or embarrassed, she just wanted privacy in this situation. She waited three days and then she tried again. She didn't know what she'd say but she heard three rings and then his voicemail picked up once more.

"Hi, you've reached Anthony DiNozzo, if it's Friday night I'm at the ball game and first thing Saturday I'm heading out of town I'll be gone all weekend long. But I'll call you back when I get home on Sunday afternoon. PS If this is my Ninja, I still love you."

Stunned, she left her number but didn't say another word. Then she waited by the phone on Sunday evening, knowing he'd call back.

Tony returned home to his apartment Sunday afternoon, McGee and Abby in tow. It had been a small out of town investigation, but he had already missed the comfort of his own bed. Two nights on a cot was not his style.

"Are we ordering pizza or shall we try to cook again?" Tony smirked at his own words. Last time they wasted over $100 on groceries and either burnt, fried, over-boiled or in some amazing fashion ruined everything they had bought. Except the beer and the number to the Pizza Hut down the street.

"Pizza." Abby and McGee replied in union, rather deadpan. They knew cooking was no option. They both hung their jackets on the coat hanger and went to sit at the table and Tony grabbed some drinks for them. This was their typical weekend- relaxing and ignoring the violence taking place outside, in the realm of their job.

"Hey Tony, your machine is blinking, want me to play it?" McGee hovered by the answering machine, amazed that anyone actually still used a land line.

"Sure, just hit the big gray button in the middle there." He set the drinks on the table as he went to the nearby desk drawer for the take out menu.

The machine read off the date and time and the message started. The three listened as an intake of breath was heard and then a string of numbers.

They all sat there in silence.

"Was that…" McGee left his question unfinished and Tony just stared at the machine.

Abby stared, surprised Ziva had actually listened to her but couldn't read Tony's reaction. She forced a smile and a happy tone. "Well? Are you going to write it down so you can call her back?" Tony didn't answer, just moved slowly towards the counter. "This is what you've been wanting right? To talk to her?"

McGee looked at Abby and shook his head, willing her to drop it.

"Tim, tell him to call her!" Tony was now standing by the machine, just staring at it, a confused expression on his face. He raised his hand to the controls and let his finger hover over PLAY and DELETE. "You know that's what he wants!"

"Abby, c'mon, let Tony decide-"

"But that's _all_ you've done, Tony," Abby looked over McGee's shoulder to the senior agent. "All you've done is pine for her. You're going to call her right?" His finger still wavered between his choice of action. All he's wanted is to talk to her, to tell her how much he missed her… now that the opportunity is there, is it really worth it to reopen the old wounds?

He gently hit the PLAY button and copied the numbers down.

Ziva had a book open on her lap but she couldn't focus on the words. Sundays were usually her day to run errands, but instead today she opted to stay home and wait for Tony's call. She had run through various scenarios, what she could say, how she could explain herself.

She got scared. She had been telling herself she wanted to settle down, to make a life for herself, but when she was so close to having what she wanted she got spooked. She ran. She knew it. She knew what he wanted from her, and it scared her because she wanted it too. She thought she'd take a few days of leave and be okay, so she volunteered to travel to various NCIS facilities and assist in trainings. She got so good at running from what she turned her back on she kept running until she convinced herself it was worth the loss and ache. She had become too good at lying to herself.

_I will tell him the truth. I will tell him that I cannot go back, that my life is here now, and that my mind is made up._ She took a sip of her nearly untouched wine from the table beside her, trying to plan a way to control the conversation. _I will tell him that I have decided to ask for a permanent place in Los Angeles, so that when I am done here, I will move back down south and make my life there. Slower, this time._ She closed her eyes and willed herself to stick to her plan. _That's where we went wrong. Too much, too fast. That's all. I can't let myself fall into that again. _

Her phone rang beside her. She slowly opened her eyes and let it ring for a second time.

_I will tell him the truth. _She repeated her mantra in her head. _I have to tell him the truth._

After the third ring she took a deep breath and answered.

_I have to tell him the truth…_ For the first time, she told the truth.

"If you're calling about my heart it's still yours, I should have listened to it a little more, then it wouldn't have taken me so long to know where I belong. And by the way, this is no machine you're talking to. Can't you tell this is your Ninja and I still love you."

She hadn't meant to say it, but it came out. The silence on the other end of the line made the seconds feel like hours dragging by painfully. _Maybe this was a mistake, I shouldn't have said anything. I shouldn't have called._ A thousand thoughts rushed into her mind until she heard his voice.

"God, Ziva, when are you coming back?" Ziva let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. She opened her mouth to explain the past year, but in normal Tony fashion he didn't even let her try, "I don't care, please tell me you're coming back."

And for the first time since she had gotten on that plane out of Washington, DC, she smiled. It only took the truth.

**A/N: And for some reason that feels like a good place to leave a one-shot. What did you think? Please review! -semper fi **


	9. That Ain't My Truck

**Title:** That Ain't My Truck  
**Characters:** Tony, Ziva, Ray  
**Inspiration:** That Ain't My Truck, Rhett Atkins  
**Time Period:** Night following "Housewarming"  
**Summary: **Set after Housewarming fades out, the bar scene between Tony and Ziva after her call with good ol' CI-Ray.  
**A/N:** Feedback appreciated, I haven't written in a while so trying to get back into it. And the lyrics from this song are in no way incorporated with the fic, just used the theme as inspiration/

* * *

He sat in the dimly lit bar sipping on the whiskey he ordered over an hour ago. Every few minutes he glanced up, hoping it was her walking through the door. She knew he'd be there waiting for her, even though she said it was only a maybe. _She'll be here,_ he told himself repeatedly, _I heard it in her voice, she wants to be here with me._ A part of him knew that it was a lie. A part of him knew she wanted to be with _him_. The other man. He clenched a fist and had to force himself to relax it gently on the bar top. He knew that this battle wasn't his. She was the one who always seemed to be stuck in-between the two of them.

He had been hesitant to ask her to see him, as badly as he may want it, he could always sense her reservations. He knew he didn't deserve the time for her to show up; hell, he hardly felt he deserved to be around her at all. Even though she had agreed to come, at least gave him a maybe, he couldn't help but wonder if she was somewhere else, with _him_. He glanced at his watch again. It was almost an hour past the time she said she would show up. _Maybe,_ he kept having to remind himself. _Always a maybe._

_..._

Across town sat another man, patiently waiting, but instead he nursed his bourbon gingerly.

"Hey Liz, another round?" He tipped his glass towards the red-head behind the bar and she shot him a smile in response. His wait came to a short end. "Took you long enough, did you get lost?" His face lit up when his partner approached him.  
"I did not, thank you very much," she flipped her hair curtly, though she had a smile playing on her lips. "Besides, I was not gone for that long."  
"Well you were gone long enough for me to order us another round, I didn't think you'd mind." And of course she didn't, instead quite the opposite, she smiled knowing there was another round's time to be spent with the man in front of her.  
She sat on the bar stool next to him but turned her body so they were facing each other, her legs tucked in-between his. The drinks arrived and in her left she raised her glass, her right landed playfully on his leg to get his attention.  
"And what shall we drink to?"  
"Let's see… what haven't we drank to yet…? To the two most dysfunctional romantics we know," he paused, raised his glass a little higher and tossed her a smile and a wink, "us."  
"To us; to no more maybes." Her smile faltered a little in apprehension at her own words. Their conversation earlier had been cut off prematurely, but tonight she risked going back to it. "To looking forward to our futures, no more maybes, and to someday." They kept eye contact as they drank, as if their sip solidified more than just their last toast of the night.

Just as their glasses hit the bar top her phone rang. She laughed and sighed at once, "excuse me, I won't get lost coming back this time," she said playfully.  
"Oh," he tossed nonchalantly as she stepped away, "so you admit you got lost the first time?" In a rare truly open moment she turned back to him and gave him a look almost never seen; she stuck her tongue out at him. Caught completely off guard he almost choked on his laughter.  
"Ah, Liz…" he started wistfully, getting the bartenders attention once more, "I'm feeling good tonight… I think this is good." He sipped the rest of his bourbon and she laughed in response. "No, really, I think this is a good step tonight."  
"You say that every other time you two come in, darling," Liz responded, shaking her head.  
"Tony," Ziva then walked back up to her seat at the bar, "That was Ray…"

_..._

He finally picked up the phone and called her. He told himself he could wait forever, but he only made it an hour and a half. _Does that already say something about me?_ he thought as the phone rang. He almost thought she wouldn't answer.  
"Ziva David," she answered and he could hear the trail end of a laugh and pictured her smiling. She must not have looked at the caller ID.  
"Hey, it's me." Her laughter stopped and he could see her smile fade in his mind.  
"Ray."  
"Yeah… I thought you said you were going to come meet me?" She cleared her throat, obviously choosing her words carefully.  
"I said maybe, Ray. I told you I already had plans."  
"With Tony," he responded curtly. "He couldn't wait another night? He sees you everyday and I haven't heard from you in almost two months."  
"Actually," he heard her tone get more stern, more serious, "it was more I waiting to hear from you, not the other way around. I tried to call you."

He shook his head, rubbing his forehead with his free hand, "I know, I'm sorry, I didn't mean…" he trailed off and sighed. "Look, I said earlier I was sorry. I was really looking forward to seeing you tonight."  
"And I said I had plans, Ray… I don't know what you want me to say. You can't just not talk to me for two months and then expect me to show up at the drop of a dime."  
"Drop of a hat." He said it almost out of reflex, but he sensed it hit a nerve.  
"Whatever, do not correct me."  
"So only Tony can?"  
"What?" She shook her head almost violently, "Tony has nothing to do with this."  
"He has everything to do with this, Ziva and you know it." He answered more tersely than he meant to so he took a deep breath to calm himself. "You can't have us both, Ziva. It's not fair."

And suddenly, in that moment, her jaw dropped slightly, and her own words came back to her. "I don't have time for maybes, Ray… I have to look forward to tomorrows, futures and not hold on to a maybe of a someday."  
"Ziva, I don't understand-"  
"You don't have to Ray. I can't…. I can't see you anymore. I'm sorry."  
"Wait, what? Just like that? Ziva, I'm sorry, I got a little upset-"  
"No, it's not just that. You are right. I can't keep doing this. To anyone. Especially myself."  
"Please, Ziva, just-"  
"I cannot, Ray. I'm sorry." She cut him off hoping to spare him pain, but her shortness hurt him more than anything. "Please, just… Accept this. I am done."

_..._

She walked back to the bar and saw Tony exchanging words with the bartender. In any other time she may have looked at his lopsided smile, his open body language and her reciprocation and she may have thought he was flirting. But she knew better, as soon as Tony saw her walking back he sat up a little straight, smiled a little brighter… She knew better now.  
"Tony," she started softly, "That was Ray…" she watched his demeanor falter, he's waiting for me at another bar across town-"  
"That's fine," he waved her words off, "I get it. We had fun while we were here, thanks for coming out for a while at least." He started to turn back to the spot where Liz had just recently vacated and then felt her roughly turn his chair back for him.  
"Excuse me?"  
"I mean, that's what you meant right? You were going to try to politely excuse yourself and apologize and try to explain- but you don't have to. We said no more maybes right? We all have a choice to make." They stared at each other, his eyes a little darker than they just had been, and hers with a little more fire.  
"You are right." She let the words flow out slowly. "We all have choices to make… And I'm glad to know that you are okay that I have already made mine." He dropped slightly his head for a second, staring at the nearly finished glass of bourbon, waiting for her to walk away from him. Instead, she grabbed her glass from the bar top and raised it to him, "to no more maybes." He looked up at her skeptically as his hand slowly raised his own glass to hers.  
He cocked his head slightly and raised an eyebrow. "Wait, Ziva, I'm a little lost…" She chuckled slightly.  
"I wasn't finished. To no more maybes and finally," she tipped her glass rim to tap his resounding with a soft _ping!_, "to us." With a grin spreading across both of their faces she sat down once more, a little closer this time.  
"To us," he repeated. Eye contact never breaking, he called out once more, "Liz! Didn't I tell ya?" The bartender looked over at the two without taking a step, knowing what he was going to say next. "I told you tonight felt like a goodnight."

* * *

**A/N**: Hello, all! I hope that this fic is up to at least some semi-standard. I literally just threw on my headphones, hit play and started writing. This was un-beta'd so any and all mistakes are my own! I'm trying to get back into writing, mainly for a pastime to help my weird rotating fic is dedicated to one of my fellow Marines I went to high school with that is currently deployed overseas and needs a Tiva fix once in a while! (:


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